自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid fragments and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct sentence fragments and finish thoughts. Aim for 3–4 sentences, remove hesitation and redundant phrases.

範例: Yes. My mother bought me my first bike when I was six, and I remember how excited I was. Although I didn’t have much time to ride it, I often cycled to school, which made my commute enjoyable and helped me learn independence.

建議: Give a clear direct answer first, then support it with specific reasons and use linking words. Avoid vague phrases and fillers (uh, umm). Provide one concrete example or comparison to strengthen your point and keep within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are still fairly popular, especially among children and students. However, since motorcycles and scooters became more affordable, fewer adults cycle regularly. For example, many adults now commute by scooter because it is faster and more convenient in traffic.

× Yes, when I was a child, my mother bought me my first bike.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my mother bought me my first bike.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses past simple to describe a completed action in the past.

× It was when I was six years old and it was a wonderful experience.

✓ I was six years old, and it was a wonderful experience.

The original has an unnecessary leading 'It was when' which makes the sentence awkward. Use a simple subject 'I' with past tense 'was' and join clauses with 'and' to create a clear, grammatically correct sentence.

× Although I did not get a lot of time to ride on that bike.

✓ Although I did not get a lot of time to ride that bike,

This fragment begins with 'Although' so it must connect to a main clause. Removing the preposition 'on' after 'ride' (unnecessary with 'bike') and keeping it as a dependent clause requires continuation; adding a comma indicates it modifies a following main clause. Alternatively, make it a complete sentence: 'I did not get a lot of time to ride that bike.'

× But umm, I remember having that bike and riding to school with it and.

✓ But I remember having that bike and riding it to school.

The original ends with a trailing conjunction 'and' and uses an unnecessary prepositional phrase 'riding to school with it'. Use 'riding it to school' for concise, natural English and remove filler 'umm' for clarity.

× I would say it is popular, but ever since we've got the privilege of having motorcycles and scooters, we don't see a lot of adults riding these bikes, which is a little bit sad.

✓ I would say they are popular, but ever since we've had motorcycles and scooters, we don't see a lot of adults riding bikes, which is a little bit sad.

The subject 'bikes' is plural so use the plural pronoun 'they' (Grammar problem type 1). 'We've got the privilege of having' is wordy and slightly awkward; use 'we've had' to indicate possession since that time (past-present relevance). 'Riding these bikes' is redundant; 'riding bikes' is clearer.

× I wish, uh, there was more of a culture where people rode bikes more, but umm, yeah.

✓ I wish there were more of a culture where people rode bikes more.

Use the subjunctive 'were' after 'I wish' to express a hypothetical situation (modal/subjunctive usage). Remove filler 'uh' and 'umm' and trailing 'but yeah' for grammatical clarity.