自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief specific detail. Avoid hesitations and incorrect phrase forms (e.g., “being gifted” → “was gifted”). Use one or two linking words if adding details.

範例: Yes. I was first given a bicycle when I was ten. My parents bought it for me as a birthday present, and my father spent a whole afternoon teaching me to balance and pedal, which I still remember clearly.

建議: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and specific supporting details. Reduce filler words (“uh”, “you know”) and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, moreover, because) to connect reasons and effects, and give one concrete example or statistic if possible.

範例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. For example, many parents buy a bike for their children around the age of ten, and fathers often teach them to ride. As a result, children gain independence and confidence, and many continue cycling for transport or leisure as they grow older.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did have' is unnecessary for a simple past affirmative statement. In English, the simple past is formed by the past verb alone (had). Use 'did' + base verb only for negatives or questions. Suggestion: say 'I had' for clear, natural past tense.

× I think when I was 10 years old.

✓ I think it was when I was 10 years old.

This fragment lacks a main verb and is unclear. Adding 'it was' completes the clause and places the event in the past. Suggestion: include a subject and past verb to form a full past-tense sentence.

× That was the first time I had uh, being gifted a bike by my parents and my dad had taught me how to ride a bike.

✓ That was the first time I had been gifted a bike by my parents, and my dad taught me how to ride it.

After 'the first time' a past perfect passive ('had been gifted') is needed, not 'had being gifted' which mixes tenses and forms. Also, 'had taught' suggests a past perfect but simple past 'taught' is sufficient when sequencing events with 'that was'. Use 'it' instead of repeating 'a bike' for naturalness. Suggestion: use 'had been gifted' for past perfect passive and 'taught' for simple past.

× Yes, almost every child owns a bike in my country.

✓ Yes, almost every child owns a bike in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly uses the present simple to state a general fact. No improvement necessary.

× I think it is one of the things, uh, parents buy their children when they turn 10 and then, uh, dads find it very interesting to teach their children how to ride a bike and then, uh, as they grow up, you know, how to ride a 2 Wheeler.

✓ I think it is one of the things parents buy their children when they turn 10, and then fathers often enjoy teaching them how to ride a two-wheeler as they grow up.

The original sentence is wordy and uses 'dads' and 'their children' repetitively. '2 Wheeler' should be spelled 'two-wheeler'. 'Find it very interesting to teach' is awkward; 'often enjoy teaching' is more natural. Suggestions: simplify structure, avoid repetition, spell out numbers in formal speech, and use parallel clauses.

× Uh, it instills some sort of sense, uh, a sense of independence in.

✓ It instills a sense of independence in them.

The original sentence is fragmented and ends with a preposition without an object. Replace the filler words and provide the object 'them' to complete the meaning. Suggestion: remove fillers and ensure the verb's object is present ('instills a sense of independence in them').