自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "I was wrecked") and unrelated statements like "I definitely lost it" unless you explain how that happened. Keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I did. My first bike had training wheels because I couldn't keep my balance at the time, so I wobbled a lot. As I practiced for several months, I gradually removed the training wheels and learned to ride confidently. Eventually I rode to school and around the neighborhood every day.

建議: Give a clear, concise opinion and add one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Avoid hesitation fillers like "Uh" and minor grammar slips (use "their" → "bikes in those countries" and "motorised" → "motorized" or keep British spelling consistent).

範例: No, I don't think bikes are very popular in my country compared with Denmark or the Netherlands. One reason is that many people prefer motorized vehicles because they are faster for long distances; additionally, our cities often lack safe cycling lanes, which discourages daily cycling.

× Of course I had to park and my first bike had the training wheels on the sides because I couldn't hold the balance and I was wobbly.

✓ Of course I had a basket and my first bike had training wheels on the sides because I couldn't keep my balance and I was wobbly.

The original sentence likely used 'park' incorrectly; context suggests 'basket' or similar, but 'park' is not grammatically wrong as a verb here. More importantly, 'hold the balance' is unnatural in English; correct phrase is 'keep my balance'. Use of past tense is appropriate ('had', 'couldn't', 'was'), so change is lexical rather than tense. Suggestion: replace 'hold the balance' with 'keep my balance' for natural phrasing and remove the definite article from 'training wheels' (use plural without 'the'). Ensure verbs remain in past tense to match the past context. Note: If 'park' was intended to be 'spark' or another word, confirm intended meaning.

× I was wrecked and I definitely lost it.

✓ I fell off and I definitely hurt myself.

'I was wrecked' is non-idiomatic in this context; native speakers typically say 'I fell off' or 'I had an accident'. 'Lost it' is ambiguous; likely intended to mean 'lost control' or 'lost the bike'. In past narrative about a childhood accident, use past tense verbs like 'fell off' and 'hurt myself' or 'lost control'. Keep past tense consistent. Suggestion: choose precise verbs to convey meaning (fell off, lost control, hurt myself, or lost it meaning lost the bike).

× I don't think their bikes are popular in my country, unlike Denmark or the Netherlands.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country, unlike in Denmark or the Netherlands.

Using 'their' is unnecessary and ambiguous here; 'their bikes' could refer to people previously mentioned. Use the general noun 'bikes' when speaking about a whole country. Also add the preposition 'in' before country names for parallel structure: 'unlike in Denmark or the Netherlands'. This fixes pronoun misuse and improves clarity. Suggestion: remove 'their' and include 'in' for the comparison.

× Uh, most people in my country prefer motorised vehicles because they are more convenient and they could reach the destination faster.

✓ Uh, most people in my country prefer motorised vehicles because they are more convenient and can reach their destinations faster.

Using 'could' here softens or changes the meaning to a conditional or past ability. For a general present-tense statement about what usually happens, use 'can' to indicate capability. Also make 'destination' plural or use a possessive 'their destination' for natural phrasing; 'their destinations' fits better when referring to many people. Keep present tense consistent with 'prefer'. Suggestion: replace 'could' with 'can' and use 'their destinations' for naturalness.