自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조와 문법 오류를 고치고, 핵심 문장(topic sentence)을 먼저 말한 뒤 그 이유를 1~2개의 문장으로 구체적으로 설명하세요. 예컨대 과거 시제를 정확히 사용하고, 불필요한 반복을 줄이며 연결어(so, because, because of)를 사용해 이유를 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 또한 감정 표현(무서웠다)은 구체적인 상황 예시(예: 교통이 복잡해서)를 추가하면 더 좋습니다.

範例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I couldn't ride one and I was afraid of traffic. For example, the roads near my house were busy with cars and that made me feel unsafe. So my parents preferred that I used public transport instead.

建議: 의견을 명확한 주제로 시작하고 구체적 근거를 하나 또는 두 개 제시하세요. 비교할 때는 'compared to' 같은 연결구를 사용하고, 일반화할 때는 예외를 인정하는 표현을 쓰세요. 어순과 전치사(예: in my country, compared to other countries)를 정확히 고치고 불필요한 단어를 제거하세요.

範例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country compared to some other places. In South Korea many people prefer to drive or use public transportation because cities are busy and roads can be crowded. However, cycling is becoming more common in parks and dedicated bike lanes.

× Umm no 'cause I didn't, I cannot the ride and I was so scary about the by bicycles, the car, the other things including more so I didn't have the bicycle when I was tired.

✓ Umm no, because I didn't. I couldn't ride and I was so scared of bicycles, cars, and other things, so I didn't have a bicycle when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present and past forms and contains incorrect modal/verb forms. Use past tense consistently for past events: 'couldn't' for ability in the past (not 'cannot'), 'was scared' as correct past adjective, and 'of' as the correct preposition after 'scared'. Also replace 'when I was tired' with 'when I was a child' to match the examiner's question. Improve sentence flow by splitting into shorter clauses. Suggestions: Use 'couldn't' for inability in the past, use past simple 'was' + adjective 'scared', use preposition 'of' after 'scared', and keep timeframe consistent (childhood).

× Maybe it's not then other countries 'cause my in my country got Korea, they don't ride the bike, they usually use the cars or just working or transportation traffic.

✓ Maybe not as much as in other countries, because in my country, Korea, people don't ride bikes much; they usually use cars or public transportation.

The original mixes tenses and has incorrect word order and articles. Use present simple 'people don't ride bikes' for general truth. 'Ride the bike' should be 'ride bikes' (no article). 'Use the cars' should be 'use cars' (no article). 'Public transportation' is the correct phrase for transit systems. Also fix word order: 'in my country, Korea' and compare 'not as much as in other countries.' Suggestions: Use present simple for general statements, remove unnecessary articles with uncountable/plural nouns ('cars', 'bikes'), and use the phrase 'public transportation' for clarity.