自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise, correct grammar and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and articles (e.g., say “I didn’t have a bike” and avoid repeating 'bike' vs 'bicycle'). Reduce fillers like 'uh'.

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was very young. At that time I preferred walking, but after I learned to balance around age seven, I asked my parents for a bicycle and started riding to school.

建議: Use a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and a linking word or two. Correct grammar (e.g., 'they are fuel-efficient' or 'bikes save fuel') and avoid repeating words and fillers. Give one concrete example or statistic if possible.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among young people, because they are fuel-efficient and help avoid traffic. For example, many students ride bikes to university to save both time and money on transport.

× When I was a child, uh, I didn't have a bike because at this stage I prefer to have a bicycle.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have a bike because at that stage I preferred to have a bicycle.

The sentence mixes past tense ('When I was a child', 'didn't have') with present-tense 'prefer'. Maintain consistent past tense by using 'preferred'. Also 'at this stage' is inappropriate for past; change to 'at that stage'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent when speaking about past events.

× When I learnt the how to make the perfect balance, then I decided to uh, have a bike.

✓ When I learned how to balance perfectly, I decided to get a bike.

Problems: 'learnt the how to make the perfect balance' is ungrammatical. Use 'learned how to balance' (verb + 'how to' structure) and 'perfectly' as adverb modifying 'balance'. 'Then' is unnecessary with 'when' and informal fillers 'uh' removed. Also 'decided to get a bike' is more natural than 'decided to have a bike'. Suggestion: simplify structure and use correct verb patterns.

× Yes. In my country bikes are very popular among the youngsters because uh it saves a lot of time while commuting and uh along with that it also fuel efficient and uh we can save a lot of money uh by using the bikes.

✓ Yes. In my country, bikes are very popular among youngsters because they save a lot of time when commuting. In addition, they are fuel-efficient, so we can save a lot of money by using bikes.

Errors: 'it saves' disagrees with plural subject 'bikes'—use 'they save'. 'Along with that it also fuel efficient' lacks verb 'is' and needs hyphen in 'fuel-efficient'. Repetitive 'uh' removed and sentence split for clarity. Also 'the youngsters' -> 'youngsters' is more natural. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and include necessary verbs; use hyphenated compound adjectives when appropriate.