自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clear and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Correct tense and word order are needed. For example, say when you received the bike, who gave it, and one specific memory or feeling. Use simple linking words like “when” or “and” and avoid repetition.

範例: Yes, I did. My parents gave me a bicycle for my eighth birthday, and I still remember how excited I was. When I first rode it, I felt very proud because I could go to my friends’ houses on my own.

建議: Answer directly then support with a clear, specific reason and an example. Use correct subject-verb agreement and avoid repeating words. Use a linking word like “because” or “for example” to connect ideas. Mention who uses bikes and why, and give a short example of typical use.

範例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for exercise and short journeys. For example, commuters often cycle to work to save money and stay fit.

× Yes I did my parents give gave me a bicycle while my 8th birthday is very interesting and I it's come and make me fun.

✓ Yes, I did. My parents gave me a bicycle for my eighth birthday, which was very exciting and fun.

Multiple past tense errors and awkward phrasing: 'give gave' is a duplication and should be 'gave' (simple past). 'while my 8th birthday is very interesting' mixes present tense and an inappropriate conjunction; use past tense 'was' and 'for' to indicate purpose/occasion: 'for my eighth birthday'. 'I it's come and make me fun' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is that the gift made the student happy or it was fun. Use 'which was very exciting and fun' or 'which made me very happy'. Also add commas and spell out 'eighth' for formality. Suggestion: practice using simple past for completed actions and use relative clauses ('which') to add descriptive information. Suggested fixes to avoid similar errors: 1) Use simple past for past events (gave, was). 2) Use 'for' to express occasions (for my birthday). 3) Avoid verb duplication and unclear pronoun references; ensure verbs agree with subject and tense.

× Yes I do, everyone realized his bike too to do a sports sports and it makes people healthier.

✓ Yes, I do. Many people in my country also own bikes to do sports, and it makes them healthier.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'everyone realized his bike' is incorrect — 'realized' is wrong verb and 'his' wrongly assumes gender. Use 'own' or 'have' for possession. 'too to do a sports sports' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'to do sports' or 'for exercising'. 'it makes people healthier' is acceptable but more natural as 'it makes them healthier' referring back to people. Also replace 'everyone' with 'many people' if not literally everyone. Suggestions: 1) Use 'own/have' for possession. 2) Use gender-neutral pronouns or plural 'them'. 3) Avoid redundant words and use correct collocations ('do sports', 'exercise').