自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove filler words, use past simple consistently, and combine related ideas into one or two sentences using a linking phrase. Also avoid repetition and unclear phrasing.

範例: Yes, I had a yellow bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me as a birthday present, and I loved riding it around our neighborhood.

建議: Make a clear direct response followed by specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Use vocabulary accurately (e.g., 'dangerous' not 'danger') and avoid repetition. Mention who uses bikes and where, and give a short example or consequence to support your point.

範例: Not really — bikes are less popular in cities because heavy traffic makes cycling dangerous. As a result, people usually ride bikes in rural areas or parks where the roads are quieter.

× There's the there was a yellow bike.

✓ There was a yellow bike.

The student used a contracted present form 'There's' (there is) followed by 'there was', causing tense and redundancy errors. The context is past ('when I was a child'), so use the past form 'There was a yellow bike.' Remove the extra 'there' as it is duplicated. Suggestion: keep the 'there was' structure for past existence statements.'

× He brought it for me as a birthday present.

✓ He bought it for me as a birthday present.

The verb 'brought' means to carry something to a place, often from somewhere else, but in this context the student likely means the father purchased the bike as a gift. Use 'bought' (past of buy) to indicate purchase. If the intent was that the father brought the bike to the student, 'brought it to me' would be correct; since the usual collocation is 'bought me a present' or 'bought it for me', use 'bought.' Suggestion: choose 'bought it for me' to express purchase, or 'brought it to me' to express delivery.'

× It's not that popular in my country actually because the traffic, it's really danger, is really dangerous to to ride around the cities.

✓ It's not that popular in my country, actually, because the traffic is really dangerous to ride around in the cities.

Multiple issues addressed: 'danger' used as a noun where adjective 'dangerous' is required; duplicated 'to' and extra clause separators. Also 'traffic, it's' creates a comma splice and redundancy. Combine into a single clause: 'because the traffic is really dangerous to ride around in the cities.' Alternatively 'to ride around in cities.' Suggestion: use 'dangerous' after 'is', remove duplicate 'to', and avoid comma splices by using complete clauses.'

× So basically people out of the towns always ride it.

✓ So basically people from the countryside always ride them.

'Out of the towns' is awkward; 'people from the countryside' or 'people outside cities' is clearer. 'Ride it' incorrectly uses singular pronoun for 'bikes' — use 'them' or repeat 'bikes.' Also plural agreement: 'people... ride them.' Suggestion: use 'people from the countryside' or 'people outside cities' and 'ride them' (referring to bikes).