自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Fix grammar (use correct verb forms and possessive structure) and avoid redundant phrases like “when I was still a child.”

範例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a red bike as a present for my fifth birthday, and I used it to ride around the neighborhood every afternoon.

建議: Organize your answer with a clear main idea and linked supporting details. Use correct tense and smoother linking words (e.g., "however," "nowadays"). Be specific about examples and avoid repetition and pauses. Keep to 2–3 sentences maximum.

範例: Yes, bikes were very common when I was in primary school, and many people used them for leisure and short trips. However, nowadays bicycles are less common in cities because of increased car use and better public transport.

× Yes, when I was still a child I did have a bike which was bought by my father and gave it to me as a present on my 5th birthday.

✓ Yes, when I was still a child I had a bike that my father bought and gave to me as a present on my 5th birthday.

The sentence mixes auxiliary 'did have' unnecessarily and has incorrect verb structure 'which was bought by my father and gave it to me'. Use simple past for past facts: 'I had.' Use an active relative clause 'that my father bought and gave to me' so verbs agree with the subject 'my father'. Suggestion: use simple past and active voice for clarity: 'I had a bike that my father bought and gave me.'

× I think bikes have been popular in my country, which is the Philippines back when I was still in my primary school.

✓ I think bikes were popular in my country, the Philippines, when I was in primary school.

The original mixes present perfect 'have been popular' with a past time expression 'back when I was...'; present perfect should not be used with a definite past time. Use simple past 'were popular' to match the past time. Also streamline 'which is the Philippines back when' to 'the Philippines, when' for correct clause attachment.

× I can see a lot of people using their bikes, using it for leisure or sometimes for. Traveling, however, in the in the presence of modernization.

✓ I could see a lot of people using their bikes for leisure or sometimes for traveling; however, with modernization this has changed.

Pronoun inconsistency: 'a lot of people' -> 'their bikes' is fine, but then 'using it' incorrectly refers back with singular 'it'. Also sentence fragments and awkward tense: original mixes present 'I can see' with past context. Use past 'I could see' to match earlier past reference, and replace 'using it' with 'using them' or rephrase 'using their bikes for leisure'. 'for. Traveling' is fragmented and incorrect capitalization. 'in the in the presence of modernization' is ungrammatical; replace with 'with modernization this has changed' to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: keep pronouns consistent and fix tense and sentence structure.