自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid repetitions and fillers (uh, um, repeated words). Use one or two supporting details with linking words (for example, because/so) and specific information (how often, where, who). Keep answers under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mother gave it to me as a birthday present, and I loved it because it allowed me to play outdoors. I used to cycle every afternoon with my siblings in our yard, which helped us stay active and bond as a family.

建議: Provide a clear opinion with polite, precise reasons and specific examples. Avoid insulting words like "lazy"; instead use neutral reasons (convenience, infrastructure, weather). Use linking words (because, however, for example) and give one concrete example or statistic if possible. Limit to maximum five sentences.

範例: In my opinion, bicycles are not very popular in Iran because many people prefer cars due to convenience and limited cycling infrastructure. For example, cities often lack safe bike lanes, so cycling can feel dangerous. However, in some neighbourhoods and among students, cycling is becoming more common as a cheap and healthy option.

× Yes, when I, when I was a child, I have, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I had a bike.

The sentence describes a past situation, so the present simple 'have' is incorrect. Use past simple 'had' to match the past time reference 'when I was a child'. Also remove stuttering and duplicate phrases for clarity.

× I received uh, this gift from my mother and I actually very, very, very like this gift and I cycle every afternoon with my siblings in the yard.

✓ I received this gift from my mother and I really liked it, and I cycled every afternoon with my siblings in the yard.

Multiple tense issues: 'received' is correct past, but 'like' and 'cycle' are present tense while the context is past. Change 'like' to past 'liked' and 'cycle' to past 'cycled' to maintain consistent past narration. Replace filler 'uh' and repeat words with 'really' for fluency.

× Uh, in my opinion, in Iran, bikes aren't popular because of, uh, because of people, uh, very, uh, very lazy and using our cars, uh, instead of bikes or, uh, practicing cycle, uh, or use, uh, local transportations.

✓ In my opinion, in Iran, bicycles aren't popular because people are often too lazy and use cars instead of bikes or public transportation.

This sentence mixes forms and contains awkward phrasing. Use 'are' to describe a general present condition ('people are often too lazy'). 'Bikes' is better as 'bicycles' for formality. 'Using our cars' should be 'use cars' to match plural subject. 'Practicing cycle' is incorrect collocation; use 'ride bicycles' or simply 'use bikes'. 'Local transportations' is uncountable/plural misuse; use 'public transportation' or 'local transport'.