自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid fillers (e.g., "umm"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammatical slips (e.g., "faster than my friends and I" → "faster than my friends").

範例: I had a pink two-wheeled bike when I was a child. I learned to ride it quickly and soon became faster than my friends, which surprised me. Because I practised every afternoon near my house, I gained confidence and loved cycling.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (e.g., "in my country doesn't really have" → "my country doesn't really have" or "there aren't many"). Try to include one brief example or consequence.

範例: Not really — bicycles are not very popular in my country because there are few dedicated bike lanes and heavy traffic. As a result, many people prefer cars or motorbikes for safety and convenience, especially during rush hour.

× I did have a bike when I was a child, umm, I think the color was pink and had only two wheels.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child; I think the color was pink and it had only two wheels.

The phrase 'did have' is grammatically acceptable for emphasis but is unnecessary here; simpler past 'had' fits the narrative. More importantly, the clause 'and had only two wheels' lacks an explicit subject; add 'it' to refer to the bike. Suggestion: use the simple past 'had' and include the pronoun 'it' before 'had' to make the sentence complete.

× And I was so good at biking as a child, I learned how to bike, how to ride a bike with two wheels very fast.

✓ I was very good at biking as a child; I learned to ride a two-wheeled bike very quickly.

The original sentence is repetitive and runs on with awkward phrasing. 'Learned how to bike, how to ride a bike with two wheels' repeats the same idea. Use 'learned to ride a two-wheeled bike' for concision. Replace 'so good' with 'very good' and 'very fast' with the adverb 'very quickly' for correct adverb use. Suggestion: eliminate repetition and use appropriate adverb form.

× And I was so surprised that I could do it very fast, like faster than my friends and I.

✓ I was so surprised that I could do it very fast, faster than my friends and me.

The comparison at the end uses the subject pronoun 'I' incorrectly after 'than'; after than, the object form 'me' is appropriate because it completes the comparison. The rest of the sentence correctly uses past ability 'could'. Suggestion: use 'me' in comparisons like 'faster than my friends and me.'

× Not really because in my country doesn't really have a lot of lanes for bike and we have a serious traffic jam everywhere so it was not a good choice to ride a bike in my country.

✓ Not really, because my country does not have many bike lanes and we have serious traffic jams everywhere, so riding a bike is not a good choice in my country.

The clause 'in my country doesn't really have...' lacks a subject; rewrite as 'my country does not have.' Use 'many bike lanes' instead of 'a lot of lanes for bike.' 'Traffic jam' should be plural 'traffic jams' or use 'heavy traffic.' Also adjust tense and phrasing: 'so it was not a good choice to ride a bike' is awkward; use 'so riding a bike is not a good choice.' Suggestion: include the subject, use plural/appropriate noun forms, and use gerund 'riding' for general statements.