自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases (e.g. “a nine”, “shrimps for the my legs”). Correct grammar (age: “when I was nine”; “my dad taught me” or “my dad learned to ride” depending on meaning). Limit to 3–4 sentences to be natural and effective.

範例: Yes. I had a pink bike when I was nine; my dad bought it for me and it was very cute. I used to ride it around the park with my friends, and my dad taught me how to balance and pedal. I remember feeling proud when I could ride without help.

建議: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion, then support it with specific, accurate examples and linking words. Reduce hesitations and correct grammatical errors (e.g. “they are cheap and easy to use”, “many delivery riders and students use bikes”, “we have many parks suitable for cycling”). Use one or two concrete examples rather than vague phrases like “A9 park”.

範例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many delivery riders and students commute by bike daily, and cities often provide dedicated cycling paths and parks for recreational riding. As a result, cycling is a common and practical choice for many people.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a nine, my dad bought me a new pink bike and it was very cute.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was nine; my dad bought me a new pink bike and it was very cute.

The error is using the article 'a' before 'nine'. Ages use the number alone or 'a' with 'year' as in 'a nine-year-old'. Also run-on sentence needs separation with a semicolon or period. Improve by saying 'when I was nine' or 'when I was a nine-year-old' and separate clauses into two sentences.

× I used to ride around the park with my friends and my dad learned to ride the bike and it was a so interesting because I uh, have a like a shrimps for the my legs and also.

✓ I used to ride around the park with my friends, and my dad learned to ride the bike. It was so interesting because I had small scars on my legs.

This sentence has several structure and word choice problems. 'Learned to ride the bike' contextually should be past simple and separated into its own sentence. 'It was a so interesting' has an extra article 'a' before 'so'. The phrase 'have a like a shrimps for the my legs' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely intended meaning is past physical marks, e.g. 'small scars on my legs', which requires past tense 'had'. Improve by splitting into clear sentences, removing filler words, and using correct noun phrase 'small scars on my legs'.

× Well, I think that umm bikes are quite popular in my country because there are cheap and easy to use for short trips.

✓ Well, I think that bikes are quite popular in my country because they are cheap and easy to use for short trips.

The plural noun 'bikes' requires the pronoun 'they' rather than 'there'. 'There are cheap' is incorrect in this context. Use 'they are' to describe the bikes. Also remove filler 'umm'. Improve by replacing 'there are' with 'they are'.

× For example, many day delivery rides to students ride back a bikes every day.

✓ For example, many delivery riders bring food to students on bikes every day.

This sentence has incorrect word order and noun usage. 'Many day delivery rides to students ride back a bikes' is ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is that delivery riders use bikes to deliver to students. Use 'delivery riders' or 'couriers' and correct plural 'bikes'. Improve by reordering to 'many delivery riders bring food to students on bikes every day.'

× And also we in my country we have a lot of uh, types of park and we have a A9 park for riding a bike.

✓ Also, in my country we have many types of parks, and we have a park specifically for riding bikes.

Preposition and article use are inconsistent: 'we in my country we' is redundant; use 'in my country we' or 'we in my country'. 'Types of park' should be 'types of parks' and 'a A9 park' is unclear—use 'a park specifically for riding bikes' or name it correctly. Improve by removing redundancy, using plural 'parks', and simplifying the phrase to 'a park for riding bikes.'