自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it is slightly long and a bit repetitive. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "I did have" + "I remember it very vividly" + "I realized"). Use a linking word to connect memory and present preference.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was pink, which helped me discover that pink was one of my favorite colours, and I still like it today.

建議: Good content and clear explanation, but reduce hesitation sounds and combine short sentences for better fluency. Use a linking phrase to show cause and effect (e.g., "because" or "so") and include a specific example or brief statistic if possible.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many companies provide bike-sharing through WeChat mini programs, making it convenient for people to rent bikes for short trips.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child and I remember it very vividly because it was pink and I realized that was one of my favorite colours and it still is.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and I remember it very vividly because it was pink; I realized then that it was one of my favorite colours, and it still is.

The original sentence uses 'did have' which is grammatically acceptable for emphasis but is unnecessary here and sounds awkward in a simple past narrative. This falls under incorrect use of past participle/auxiliary construction. Use the simple past 'had' for a straightforward statement about a past possession. Also separate ideas with commas or a semicolon for clarity and change 'realized that was' to 'realized then that it was' to clarify the time of realization. Suggestions: use simple past for past facts ('had'), add punctuation to separate clauses, and include time adverb ('then') when referring to a past realization.

× Absolutely. Umm, there are several applications and mini programs on WeChat that have bikes owned by companies.

✓ Absolutely. Umm, there are several applications and mini programs on WeChat that provide bikes owned by companies.

The original 'have bikes owned by companies' is awkwardly phrased; it implies possession but sounds unnatural. This is an incorrect use of verb/prepositional structure. Using 'provide' or 'offer' more clearly expresses that the apps make company-owned bikes available for users. Suggestion: choose a verb that matches the function of the apps ('provide', 'offer', 'rent out').

× And what these companies do is that they rent them out for people to ride.

✓ And what these companies do is rent them out for people to ride.

The original includes an extra 'that' after the copular structure 'what ... do is', which is unnecessary and wordy. This relates to incorrect use of the present participle/structure leading to redundancy. Removing 'that' produces a concise and grammatically correct cleft sentence: 'what these companies do is rent them out.' Suggestion: avoid inserting 'that' in this structure and keep the bare infinitive after 'is' when describing the action.