自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Focus on producing a concise, fluent response with fewer hesitations and a clear ending. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating words and unfinished phrases. For example, remove filler words (“uh”, repeated words) and finish your thought instead of trailing off with unsure phrases like “but unfortunately or fortunately.”

範例: Yes, I did. My father bought me a small red bike and taught me how to ride it when I was six. At first I was scared because I worried about falling, but after practicing with my dad for a few weeks I became confident and rode it every day.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, correct minor grammar (think → think), and add one specific reason with a linking word to support your opinion. Use a comparison or brief example to make your point more concrete. Keep it to two or three sentences to meet the Natural & Effective rule.

範例: No, I don't think bikes are very popular in my country. Most people prefer cars because they are faster and more comfortable, so bikes are now mostly used for short trips or by cycling enthusiasts.

× Yes, I had a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to refer to childhood possession.

× I remember my, my dad bought me one and he's also the one that taught me how to ride it.

✓ I remember my dad bought me one and he was also the one who taught me how to ride it.

The original uses contraction 'he's' (he is/has) which is incorrect for a past event. Use past tense 'he was' and use 'who' for people instead of 'that'. Suggestion: keep verbs consistent in past tense when recounting past events and use 'who' for people.

× At first I was, I was a little scared because of course as a child you have the, you have the fear of falling and hurting yourself and many other things.

✓ At first I was a little scared because, as a child, you have the fear of falling, hurting yourself, and many other concerns.

Original repeats phrases and has awkward pauses. Improve sentence flow by removing repetition ('I was, I was' and 'you have the, you have the') and using parallel structure in the list ('falling, hurting yourself, and many other concerns'). Add commas for clarity.

× But unfortunately or fortunately.

✓ But I suppose that could be either unfortunate or fortunate.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and complete thought. Provide a full clause with a verb ('I suppose') and clarify the contrast.

× I don't really thinks, I don't really think bikes are popular in my country.

✓ I don't really think bikes are popular in my country.

The original contains an incorrect third-person singular verb form 'thinks' with the first-person subject 'I'. Use the base form 'think' after 'I don't really'.

× That's because as a country we value cars more and with time people have changed.

✓ That's because, as a country, we value cars more, and over time people's preferences have changed.

Improve clarity and parallelism. Add commas around the parenthetical 'as a country' and change 'with time people have changed' to 'over time people's preferences have changed' to specify what changed and make tense and meaning clear.

× Before bikes were really used, but now not so much.

✓ Bikes were much more common before, but now they are not so popular.

Original word order is awkward. Use clear past tense 'were much more common before' and present 'are not so popular' for contrast. Include subject 'they' to avoid fragmentary phrasing.