自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise, use correct tense and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, follow with one or two specific supporting details using linking words, and keep it under five sentences. Also correct grammar (e.g. use past tense: "I had" not "I do own") and use more precise vocabulary (e.g. "environmentally friendly").

範例: Yes, I had two bicycles as a child. My father bought them so I could learn to ride early, and I often rode to nearby stalls and to friends’ houses. Because cycling was cheap and environmentally friendly, it was my main way of getting around in the neighborhood.

建議: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words, and finish with a short consequence or example. Fix grammar (avoid phrases like "All this because") and avoid trailing off. Use concise vocabulary (e.g. "urbanization", "public transport", "convenience").

範例: No, I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. Due to rapid urbanization and advances in technology, most people prefer public transport or motorbikes because they are faster and more convenient. For example, commuters often choose buses and trains to save time during rush hour.

× Oh yes, I do own a bike when I was a child and I actually own 2 bikes as a child.

✓ Oh yes, I owned a bike when I was a child and I actually owned two bikes as a child.

The speaker mixes present tense ('do own', 'own') with past time reference ('when I was a child'). Use simple past 'owned' to match the past time frame. Also use 'two' in words for formal speech. Suggestion: maintain past tense consistently for actions completed in childhood.

× Well this is because my dad wanted me to have the first hand experience since I was young.

✓ Well, this was because my dad wanted me to have first-hand experience since I was young.

The clause refers to a past reason, so 'is' should be changed to past 'was' for tense consistency. 'first hand' should be hyphenated as 'first-hand' when used as a compound adjective. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout and use hyphenation for compound adjectives.

× So when I was younger I used to travel around using the bicycle.

✓ So when I was younger I used to travel around by bicycle.

'Used to' correctly indicates past habit; however 'using the bicycle' is unnatural. Use the preposition 'by' with 'bicycle' for means of transport. Also omit the definite article 'the' unless referring to a specific bicycle. Suggestion: say 'by bicycle' for general transport.

× I would go to nearby stalls while just riding a bicycle because I think that it's more environmental friendly.

✓ I would go to nearby stalls while just riding a bicycle because I think that it's more environmentally friendly.

The error is use of adjective 'environmental' instead of adverb 'environmentally' modifying 'friendly'. Also 'just' is unnecessary but acceptable. Suggestion: use the adverbial form 'environmentally friendly' to describe the action's quality.

× I personally don't think that bikes are popular in my country.

✓ I personally don't think that bikes are popular in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses present simple appropriately to express a general opinion. No change needed.

× All this because due to the advancement of the technology and due to the urbanization in my country, people would usually resort to using the public transport instead of walking on foot or even using the bicycle to commute Well, other than that, people don't really enjoy the idea of riding a bicycle because.

✓ This is because, due to technological advancement and urbanization in my country, people usually resort to using public transport instead of walking or cycling. Also, people don't really enjoy the idea of riding a bicycle.

Multiple issues: 'All this because' is informal and should be 'This is because'; 'due to the advancement of the technology' is wordy — use 'due to technological advancement'; 'using the public transport' should be 'using public transport' (no article); 'walking on foot' is redundant — 'walking' suffices; 'using the bicycle to commute' is wordy — use 'cycling'; 'would usually' is awkward for general habit — use 'usually'; sentence run-on and ends abruptly; final 'because.' is incomplete. Suggestion: split into two sentences, simplify phrases, and use consistent present simple for general statements.