学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答直接且内容相关，但句子过长，缺少标点和连接词，导致表达不够清晰。“social issues international social issues”重复，最后的“address policy”表达不完整。建议先说明身份，再用“whereas”或“such as”补充学习内容，并把内容分成两句。

範例: I’m currently doing a master’s degree in social policy at the University of Melbourne. We study international social issues such as employment, inequality and education. We also examine how governments design and implement policies to address these problems.

建議: 回答基本切题，并提供了具体原因，但“Where do you study?”应使用现在时“study”，而不是过去时“studied”。“a master's of social policy”应改为“a master’s degree in social policy”。此外，“which made”应改为现在时“which makes”，因为这是持续存在的特点。

範例: I study at the University of Melbourne, where I’m completing a master’s degree in social policy. I really enjoy the multicultural atmosphere because students come from different countries, which makes our class discussions more diverse and interesting.

建議: 回答的观点明确，但后半部分出现多个不完整或不自然的表达，例如“the city tastes relaxed”“the events under the beautiful sunshine”和“feel less”都没有完成。建议只保留两到三个具体优点，并使用“Moreover”或“Overall”连接；“feel less”后面需要明确说明是“less stressed”还是“less lonely”。

範例: Yes, definitely. Melbourne is a great place to study because it has a multicultural atmosphere, so I can meet people from all over the world and try a variety of foods. Moreover, the city has a relaxed lifestyle, which helps me feel less stressed while studying.

建議: 回答结构清晰，也使用了“In addition”进行补充，内容较具体。主要问题是“the compass facilities”应为“the campus facilities”，“the place I study where I study”重复，而且前面使用现在时，最后的“felt”最好改为现在时“feel”。可以进一步说明具体设施，例如图书馆、学习空间或网络设备。

範例: Not really. I’m quite satisfied with my university because the campus facilities are excellent and make studying convenient. For example, the library has plenty of quiet study spaces and useful online resources. In addition, my teachers and classmates are friendly and helpful, so I feel comfortable studying there.

建議: 回答包含明确的未来计划、原因和结果，整体内容有效。“Where I plan”应改为“I plan”，“return China”应改为“return to China”。建议使用“After that”连接时间顺序，并具体说明获得的技能或希望从事的工作领域，以增强答案的细节和说服力。

範例: I plan to finish my master’s degree first. After graduating, I intend to return to China and look for a job in social policy or public administration. During my studies, I will develop research and policy-analysis skills, and I believe China offers better career opportunities in this field.

× I am currently doing a master's degree in social policy at the University of Melbourne and we study social issues international social issues such as employment, inequality and education and we examine how governments address policy.

✓ I am currently doing a master's degree in social policy at the University of Melbourne. We study international social issues, such as employment, inequality, and education, and examine how governments address policy issues.

原句包含多个并列内容，但没有合理断句，而且“social issues international social issues”重复，导致句子结构不清晰。可以用句号分开较长的内容，并删除重复表达。

× I studied in Melbourne for one year to complete a master's of social policy.

✓ I have been studying in Melbourne for one year to complete a master's degree in social policy.

问题是“Where do you study?”，回答应使用现在相关的时态。现在完成进行时“have been studying”表示从过去开始并持续到现在的学习。另一个自然表达是“a master's degree in social policy”，而不是“a master's of social policy”。

× I really enjoy the multicultural atmosphere in my course because students come from different countries which made our class discussion more diverse and interesting.

✓ I really enjoy the multicultural atmosphere in my course because students come from different countries, which makes our class discussions more diverse and interesting.

这里描述的是目前仍然存在的情况，因此应使用现在时“makes”，而不是过去时“made”。“which”指代前面整个事实，所以谓语应与现在情况保持一致。

× I really enjoy the multicultural atmosphere in my course because students come from different countries which made our class discussion more diverse and interesting.

✓ I really enjoy the multicultural atmosphere in my course because students come from different countries, which makes our class discussions more diverse and interesting.

不同国家的学生会进行多次课堂讨论，因此“discussion”通常使用复数“discussions”。当名词表示多个活动或一般性活动时，应使用复数形式。

× Yeah, definitely I really enjoy Melbourne's multicultural atmosphere because it means I can meet people from many different countries and try different foods and the events under the beautiful sunshine and the city tastes relaxed the lifestyle also helped me feel less.

✓ Yeah, definitely. I really enjoy Melbourne's multicultural atmosphere because it means I can meet people from many different countries, try different foods, and attend events in the beautiful sunshine. The city feels relaxed, and this lifestyle helps me feel less stressed.

原句把许多完整意思连续连接在一起，缺少句号、逗号和清晰的连接结构，属于句子结构问题。“feel less”后面缺少补语，因此改为“feel less stressed”。较长的口语回答应拆分成几个短句，以避免句子过长和意思混乱。

× Yeah, definitely I really enjoy Melbourne's multicultural atmosphere because it means I can meet people from many different countries and try different foods and the events under the beautiful sunshine and the city tastes relaxed the lifestyle also helped me feel less.

✓ Yeah, definitely. I really enjoy Melbourne's multicultural atmosphere because it means I can meet people from many different countries, try different foods, and attend events in the beautiful sunshine. The city feels relaxed, and this lifestyle helps me feel less stressed.

表示在阳光下参加活动时，应使用介词“in”，即“in the beautiful sunshine”，而不是“under the beautiful sunshine”。“in the sunshine”是更自然、常见的搭配。

× In addition, both my teachers and classmates are friendly and helpful, so I felt comfortable studying there.

✓ In addition, both my teachers and classmates are friendly and helpful, so I feel comfortable studying there.

这里描述的是目前学习环境带来的感受，因此应使用现在时“feel”，而不是过去时“felt”。主句中的“are”也是现在时，前后时态应保持一致。

× Actually not really. I wouldn't want to change the place I study where I study because the compass facilities are excellent and make learning convenient.

✓ Actually, not really. I wouldn't want to change where I study because the campus facilities are excellent and make learning convenient.

“the place I study where I study”重复且结构不自然。可以直接使用“where I study”表示“我学习的地方”。另外，“campus facilities”是“校园设施”的正确表达。

× Where I plan to finish my master's degree first and after graduating I intend to return China to look for a job.

✓ I plan to finish my master's degree first, and after graduating, I intend to return to China to look for a job.

句首的“Where”不能引导这个陈述句，因为它表示“在哪里”，与句意不符。应删除“Where”，直接使用主语“I”。同时，两个计划之间需要用逗号和连词连接，使句子结构更清晰。

× Where I plan to finish my master's degree first and after graduating I intend to return China to look for a job.

✓ I plan to finish my master's degree first, and after graduating, I intend to return to China to look for a job.

“return”表示返回某个地点时，地点前通常要使用介词“to”，所以应说“return to China”，不能说“return China”。