学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答要更直接并且句子更简洁，避免模糊表达。可以先用一句主题句明确身份，然后补充必要信息（学习状态、专业）。注意语法（full time → full-time）。整体控制在3-4句内。

範例: I'm currently a part-time student studying kinesiology. I study practical methods for sports rehabilitation while also doing some hands-on work in clinics.

建議: 地点与学校名称表述不够清晰，需要确认学校名称并用更自然的短语。提供具体信息（学校类型、声誉原因）并用连接词使句子连贯。避免重复“kinesiology”。

範例: I study at Jim Institute in Shenzhen, a specialist school for kinesiology and sports rehabilitation. It's well-known nationwide for its practical training and industry connections.

建議: 回答内容完整但句子碎片化、重复较多。应先给出直接评价，再用1-2句具体理由，用连接词（e.g., because, and）组织信息，避免重复“really”。

範例: Yes, it's an excellent place to study because the teachers combine strong scientific knowledge with practical experience. The courses are hands-on and the school provides up-to-date equipment for rehabilitation training.

建議: 表达有点混乱且用词不准（deliberate food → takeaway/takeout）。建议先明确希望改变的主要点，然后说明原因并给出具体建议（如餐饮选择、减少塑ics）。句子要简洁连贯。

範例: I'd like the campus to have a healthy cafeteria nearby because we currently have to walk far for food and often end up buying takeout with excessive plastic packaging. A on-site healthy restaurant would reduce waste and save time.

建議: 回答包含多个想法但组织不清晰，存在词汇错误（brand reactions → brain reactions）。建议先陈述短期计划，再说长期计划，解释原因并保持句子简洁。

範例: In the short term, I plan to take more courses connecting neurology and exercise because movement can influence brain function and behavior. In the long term, I'm considering a master's degree in social work to apply this knowledge in community rehabilitation.

× I am not full time studying but I am still a student in kinesiology.

✓ I am not a full-time student, but I am still studying kinesiology.

句子中“full time studying”搭配不当。应使用名词短语“a full-time student”或动名词结构“studying full-time”。建议使用“a full-time student”来表达“不是全日制学生”。此外将“in kinesiology”改为“studying kinesiology”更自然，或者保持“a student of kinesiology”。

× I'm currently studying in Jim in Shanzhen, which is also kinesiology or sports rehabilitation school.

✓ I'm currently studying at Jim in Shenzhen, which is a kinesiology and sports rehabilitation school.

原句中介词和结构不当：地点通常用“at”搭配学校，用“in”搭配城市；“in Jim in Shanzhen”位置重复且拼写“Shanzhen”应为“Shenzhen”。此外“which is also kinesiology or sports rehabilitation school”用法不自然，应使用不定冠词“a”并用并列连词“and”。建议改为“at Jim in Shenzhen, which is a kinesiology and sports rehabilitation school”。

× That's quite famous for people in the industry all around the country.

✓ It's quite famous among people in the industry all around the country.

“That's”可以改为“It’s”更自然；介词“for”与“famous”搭配不如“famous among”准确。中文建议：将“for people”改为“among people”以表达在业内人士中知名。

× Yes, it's a really good place both in terms of the teachers and the facility there the teachers so it's really hands on classes with a lot of scientific backgrounds.

✓ Yes, it's a really good place both in terms of the teachers and the facilities. The teachers give very hands-on classes with a strong scientific background.

原句句子过长且混乱，有重复“the teachers”，名词单复数错误（facility应为facilities）；“hands on”需连字符或作为形容词用“hands-on”；“scientific backgrounds”改为不可数短语“scientific background”或“a strong scientific background”。建议拆成两句，清晰表达。

× It's theoretically backed up. And then it gets really practical and with really the best tools.

✓ The teaching is theoretically backed up, and then it becomes very practical with the best tools.

原句“it gets really practical”中“it”指代不明，建议明确为“the teaching”或“the program”。“gets”可改为“becomes”更正式；“with really the best tools”语序不自然，应为“with the best tools”。

× Probably would be great if there's a nice restaurant or healthy restaurant nearby so that we don't have to walk all the way outside because it's inside a park or getting deliberate food all the time.

✓ It would probably be great if there were a nice, healthy restaurant nearby so that we wouldn't have to walk so far outside, because the campus is inside a park and we often have to get takeaway food.

原句中时态和虚拟语气使用不当：表达非真实或假设情况时应使用虚拟语气“if there were”。“would be great”前缺主语“It”。“we don't have to walk all the way outside”可改为“we wouldn't have to walk so far outside”。此外“getting deliberate food”不合适，应为“getting takeaway food”或“buying food”。建议用更自然的表达并修正时态。

× It's lots of wasted plastics, which I don't appreciate.

✓ There is a lot of wasted plastic, which I don't appreciate.

“lots of wasted plastics”不自然，plastic在此作不可数名词，应使用“a lot of wasted plastic”或“lots of wasteful plastic packaging”。此外可用“There is”结构引导存在性。中文建议：把可数复数改为不可数，或换成更具体的可数短语。

× I would take more courses that link between neurology and exercise because our movements also affect how we think and our brand reactions and I'm also planning on doing a master probably in social work.

✓ I would take more courses that link neurology and exercise because our movements also affect how we think and our brain reactions, and I'm also planning to do a master's degree, probably in social work.

原句中“link between neurology and exercise”结构有点冗余，可简化为“link neurology and exercise”或“link neurology to exercise”。“brand reactions”应为“brain reactions”（拼写错）；“doing a master”习惯用法是“doing a master's degree”或“pursuing a master's degree”；动词短语“planning on doing”可接受，但“planning to do”更简洁。建议修正拼写并使用标准搭配。