学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "I work and study part time" already implies both roles). Correct factual phrasing ("hour manager" likely wrong) and use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "and" or "which").

範例: I work and study part time. I attend classes at Lucerne University on Mondays and Tuesdays, and I work in an office in Zurich from Wednesday to Friday as a shift manager. I enjoy this mix because it exposes me to different tasks and colleagues, which keeps my weeks varied and interesting.

建議: Clear and specific answer; tighten a little and correct minor timeline confusion ("second semester, which will start in September" sounds odd if already half a year). Use one linking phrase to connect details and keep it within five sentences.

範例: I study at Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts, majoring in Business Administration with a focus on People Management and Organization. I started six months ago and am currently finishing my first year; my second semester will begin in September.

建議: Good content and specific reasons. Improve coherence by using clearer linking words when contrasting positives and negatives (e.g., "however"), and avoid vague phrasing like "work life examples from real life" — be precise about what you mean. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

範例: Yes, it's an excellent place to study because the building is new and very spacious; we were among the first students to use it. However, many lecturers are part time, which has a positive side: they often share practical, real-world examples from their own jobs.

建議: Answer gives a clear opinion with reasons but has awkward phrasing and unnecessary detail. Use concise language, correct course-number expression (e.g., "4 to 5 courses"), and add a linking word such as "because" to connect reason and suggestion. Offer a brief example of how fewer courses would help.

範例: Yes. My first semester was very demanding because I had six modules with group work and presentations, so I would prefer the first semester to have only four to five courses. This would allow students more time to adapt and complete assignments to a higher standard.

建議: The answer is honest but vague and contains some grammatical issues and run-on structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific possible plans or a timeline. Use linking words (e.g., "at the moment", "after that") and avoid trailing unfinished thoughts. If uncertain, say so but offer likely options.

範例: I'm not sure yet. At the moment I'm in the first semester of my postgraduate degree, which I will finish in spring 2027. After that I plan to take a break for a few months, and I may consider further study depending on how I feel and on job opportunities.

× I work and study part time.

✓ I work and study part-time.

The issue is not plural but hyphenation: 'part-time' as a compound adjective or adverb is normally hyphenated. This improves clarity. Suggestion: use 'part-time' when describing an arrangement.

× I attend classes at university in Lucerne on Mondays and Tuesdays, and from Wednesday to Friday I work in Zurich in an office as an hour manager.

✓ I attend classes at the University of Lucerne on Mondays and Tuesdays, and from Wednesday to Friday I work in Zurich in an office as an hourly manager.

The phrase 'hour manager' is incorrect; the intended meaning is 'hourly manager' (adjective form) or 'shift manager' depending on role. Also 'University' is usually capitalized as part of the name and include 'the'. Suggestion: use 'hourly manager' or specify the correct job title.

× I'm a student at Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts.

✓ I'm a student at the Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts.

When naming a specific institution, the definite article 'the' is commonly used in English for many university names. Adding 'the' makes the sentence sound natural. Suggestion: include 'the' before the full official institution name.

× I study Business administration with a major in People Management and Organization, and I've been studying there for about half a year now.

✓ I study business administration with a major in People Management and Organization, and I've been studying there for about half a year now.

Academic subjects are usually not capitalized unless part of a proper noun. 'Business administration' should be lowercase. Suggestion: use lowercase for fields of study unless they contain proper nouns.

× I'm in my second semester, which will start in September.

✓ I'm in my second semester, which starts in September.

When describing scheduled events within a timetable, the present simple ('starts') is often used instead of 'will start'. It sounds more natural to say 'which starts in September.' Suggestion: use present simple for scheduled timetabled events.

× We were the first students to ever have any classes in that building and it's an open and spacious place, which I really like.

✓ We were the first students to have classes in that building, and it's an open, spacious place, which I really like.

'To ever have any classes' is wordy; 'to have classes' is clearer. Also include a comma between 'open' and 'spacious' for coordinate adjectives. Suggestion: simplify 'ever have any' to 'have' and punctuate coordinate adjectives.

× On the other hand, our lecturers work part time so they give work life examples from real life.

✓ On the other hand, our lecturers work part-time, so they give work-life examples from real life.

Hyphenation: 'part-time' as compound adjective; 'work-life' as a compound modifier. Also a comma is needed before 'so' linking independent clauses. Suggestion: hyphenate compounds and add comma before coordinating conjunction joining clauses.

× Yes, my first semester was really tough because I had 6 modules and group assignments as well as presentations and a lot of time was required to meet the deadlines.

✓ Yes, my first semester was really tough because I had six modules, group assignments, and presentations, and a lot of time was required to meet the deadlines.

Use of numeral '6' in formal speech is better written as 'six'. Also the list needs commas and clearer coordination: separate items with commas and link the final clause properly. Suggestion: write numbers as words in speech transcripts and punctuate lists clearly.

× Therefore, I would prefer if the first semester would only have around 4:00 to 5:00 courses for future students.

✓ Therefore, I would prefer if the first semester only had around four to five courses for future students.

Use 'had' not 'would have' after 'prefer if' (subjunctive/past form), and write numbers in words. '4:00 to 5:00' is incorrect for counting courses; use 'four to five courses.' Suggestion: change 'would only have' to 'only had' and use 'four to five courses.'

× I don't know yet because right now I'm doing my postgraduate degree and I'm only in the first semester so I will finish in spring 2027 and after finishing my degree I'll definitely need a break but maybe I'm doing another.

✓ I don't know yet because right now I'm doing my postgraduate degree and I'm only in the first semester, so I will finish in spring 2027. After finishing my degree I'll definitely need a break, but maybe I'll do another one.

Run-on sentence needs splitting into clearer sentences. 'Maybe I'm doing another' is ungrammatical; use future 'maybe I'll do another one.' Add commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: split into two sentences and use appropriate future tense and pronoun 'one' to refer to 'degree.'