学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce redundancy and tighten sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Watch verb tenses and small grammar points (e.g., 'I've been running' for duration).

範例: I'm a dietitian and I also run my own clinic. I've been running the clinic for over ten years, where I design customized diets to help patients reverse metabolic disorders. This work is very rewarding because I can see measurable health improvements in my clients.

建議: Provide a complete, concise answer: name the institutions, use past tense consistently, and finish sentences. Avoid trailing phrases. Add one specific detail about what you gained and use linking words for clarity.

範例: I completed my undergraduate degree at Govt Mahindra College, and then I moved to PJM near Chandigarh for my formal dietetics training and internship. There, I gained practical experience in clinical nutrition and community health, which strengthened my clinical skills.

建議: Be more specific and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, word choice). Use linking words to structure points (for example, 'Firstly... Secondly... Finally...'). Give concrete examples of practical exposure and placements.

範例: Yes, it is an excellent place to study. Firstly, it has strong infrastructure and offers extensive practical exposure, such as advanced laboratory work and industry projects. Secondly, the college provided excellent job placements and connections with sectors like healthcare and finance, which helped me secure internships.

建議: Make the response more concise and use clearer linking words. State the main issue, give a reason, and propose a specific change. Correct collocations and grammar (e.g., 'large class sizes', 'crowds').

範例: Yes. I would reduce class sizes because large numbers of students make it difficult to follow lessons and get individual attention. If class sizes were smaller, students could ask more questions and understand concepts better.

建議: Use consistent and natural tense, avoid repetition, and be specific about timeline and steps. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add concise reasons and a plan. Replace vague phrases like 'more than couple of years' with precise durations.

範例: I plan to enroll in a PhD program and have been preparing for the entrance exams for over two years. Although running my clinic delayed my ability to sit the test, I intend to take the exam this year and secure a university place.

× I'm running my own clinic for more than 10 years.

✓ I've been running my own clinic for more than 10 years.

Use present perfect progressive to express an action that began in the past and continues to the present. 'I'm running' (present continuous) implies a current temporary action, while 'I've been running' indicates continuous action over a period of more than 10 years. Suggestion: use 'I've been running' for ongoing activities that started in the past.

× I feel immense pride while I reverse metabolic disorders of people with help of food and nutrition by planning customized diet for them.

✓ I feel immense pride when I reverse people's metabolic disorders with the help of food and nutrition by planning customized diets for them.

The original has awkward structure and missing possessive form and incorrect noun number. Use 'when' instead of 'while' for specific actions, add possessive 'people's', use 'with the help of' for correct preposition phrase (ID 11), and plural 'diets' because 'customized diet for them' refers to individualized plans. Combine clauses clearly: 'when I reverse people's metabolic disorders with the help of food and nutrition by planning customized diets for them.' Suggestion: make subjects and objects clear and ensure correct pluralization for countable nouns.

× I studied at Govt Mahindra College during my graduation and after that I moved to PJM near Chandigarh, which is one of the prestigious institutions in our state and I completed my internship and formal education of dietetics under the guidance of.

✓ I studied at Govt Mahindra College during my undergraduate studies, and after that I moved to PJM near Chandigarh, which is one of the most prestigious institutions in our state, where I completed my internship and my formal education in dietetics under the guidance of experienced faculty.

Original sentence is incomplete and ends with 'under the guidance of.' Complete the thought by specifying the guider (e.g., 'experienced faculty'). Also correct word choice: 'graduation' should be 'undergraduate studies' or 'my degree', and add articles and prepositions: 'in dietetics' and 'most prestigious'. Suggestion: finish clauses and provide the object after 'under the guidance of'.

× Yes, it is an excellent place to study because it has strong infrastructure and offer a lot of practical exposure such as lab work and industry project.

✓ Yes, it is an excellent place to study because it has strong infrastructure and offers a lot of practical exposure, such as lab work and industry projects.

Subject-verb agreement: the singular subject 'it' requires 'offers' not 'offer' (ID 27). Also, 'industry project' should be plural 'industry projects' to match 'a lot of' and count correctly (ID 1). Add a comma before 'such as' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with their subject and pluralize nouns when referring to multiple instances.

× I have also received excellent job placement opportunities and college introduced students to many sectors like IIT and finance.

✓ I also received excellent job placement opportunities, and the college introduced students to many sectors, such as IIT and finance.

Use past tense consistently 'I also received' instead of 'I have also received' (tense consistency; ID 5) and add the definite article 'the college' for specificity (ID 22). Add commas for clarity and use 'such as' instead of 'like' for examples in formal speech. Suggestion: keep tense consistent within the narrative and include articles where needed.

× Moreover, it doesn't leave the student uneducated about the outer world situations.

✓ Moreover, it does not leave students uninformed about current global or real-world situations.

Change 'the student' to plural 'students' for general statement (ID 12) and replace 'uneducated about the outer world situations' with 'uninformed about current global or real-world situations' for natural, idiomatic English (ID 13). 'Does not' is preferred in formal responses. Suggestion: use plural nouns for generalizations and choose idiomatic expressions.

× Although it has a strong infrastructure providing endless opportunities but just because of this it is attracting lot more student.

✓ Although it has strong infrastructure providing endless opportunities, it is attracting many more students because of this.

Do not use 'a' with 'infrastructure' when speaking generally; use uncountable 'strong infrastructure' (ID 22). Remove redundant 'but' after 'Although' and correct word order. Use 'many more students' rather than 'lot more student' (pluralization and quantifier correction, IDs 1 and 14). Suggestion: avoid double conjunctions, use correct quantifiers and plural nouns.

× So in crowd sometimes it becomes difficult to study and clear the concept and I really want to keep number minimum as possible.

✓ So in a crowd it sometimes becomes difficult to study and understand concepts, and I really want to keep the number of students as low as possible.

Add article 'a' before 'crowd' and move adverb 'sometimes' to natural position (adverb placement, ID 20). 'Clear the concept' is awkward; use 'understand concepts.' Use 'the number of students' and the phrase 'as low as possible' for correct quantifier and article use (IDs 14 and 22). Suggestion: adjust word order for natural flow and use set phrases like 'as low as possible.'

× I'm planning to get enrolled in PhD and I'm already preparing for entrance exam for more than couple of years.

✓ I'm planning to enroll in a PhD program, and I've already been preparing for the entrance exam for more than a couple of years.

Use 'enroll in a PhD program' or 'enrolled in a PhD program' for natural phrasing and add article 'a' (ID 22). For the preparation duration, use present perfect progressive 'I've been preparing' to indicate an action that began in the past and continues (ID 6). Also include 'the' before 'entrance exam' and 'a couple of years' for correct quantifier use (ID 14). Suggestion: use present perfect continuous for ongoing preparations and include appropriate articles.

× But due to running my own clinic I couldn't get chance to appear for entrance test.

✓ But because I am running my own clinic, I have not had the chance to appear for the entrance test.

Use present perfect negative 'have not had' to show the lack of opportunity up to now rather than simple past 'couldn't get' which implies a single past inability (tense issue, ID 7). Add 'because' and an article 'the entrance test.' 'Running my own clinic' is an ongoing reason, so present perfect fits. Suggestion: use present perfect to link past conditions to the present and include articles for specificity.

× But I hope within this year I will secure a place in university.

✓ But I hope that within this year I will secure a place at a university.

Use 'secure a place at a university' for natural preposition and article use (ID 11 and 22). Keep future tense 'will secure' which is appropriate for intention/expectation (ID 7). Add 'that' after 'hope' optionally for clarity. Suggestion: use 'at a university' and include articles.