学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Сократите избыточность, исправьте грамматические ошибки и улучшите связность. Например, замените «allows me concentrate» на «allows me to concentrate», разделите длинное предложение на тему и поддерживающую фразу и добавьте связующее слово для плавности.

範例: I'm a full-time student studying business administration and a member of the Student Investment Club. As a result, I can focus on both academic work and extracurricular activities, which gives me practical experience and helps me develop professional skills.

建議: Улучшите грамматику и согласование (например, заглавные буквы и множественное число), добавьте связующее слово и конкретный пример для большей конкретики.

範例: I study at the Nazarbayev Intellectual School in Semei. It offers a stimulating environment with dedicated teachers and many opportunities to grow, such as advanced science labs and regular international competitions.

建議: Уберите пунктуационные ошибки и уточните детали (например, «well-equipped library»), используйте связку «for example» или «such as» чтобы привести конкретный пример и сделать ответ более естественным.

範例: Yes, it's an excellent place to study. The atmosphere is highly motivating, and the school has great facilities, such as modern labs and a well-equipped library, which support a wide range of academic programs and research projects.

建議: Сделайте фразы более точными и логичными: «more relaxation areas such as laundry» звучит странно — вероятно имелось в виду «lounges» или «quiet areas». Используйте союз «and» или «for example» для разделения идей и уточните преимущества изменений.

範例: I'm generally satisfied, but I would like the library to stay open later so students can study in the evenings. Also, adding more relaxation spaces, such as quiet gardens or student lounges, would help reduce stress and improve concentration.

建議: Исправьте грамматику и выбор слов: «I'm intend» → «I intend», «perceive postgraduate study» некорректно — лучше «consider postgraduate study». Уточните и свяжите идеи, объяснив почему именно эти языки и почему за рубежом.

範例: I intend to major in international relations and continue improving my language skills, especially French and Chinese. I am also considering postgraduate study abroad because international experience would help me pursue a career in diplomacy and significantly improve my language fluency.

× Being a student allows me concentrate on both academic and extracurricular activities, which helps me gain practical experience and build professional skills.

✓ Being a student allows me to concentrate on both academic and extracurricular activities, which helps me gain practical experience and build professional skills.

The verb 'allow' when followed by another verb requires the infinitive form 'to' (allow someone to do something). Omit the bare infinitive causes an ungrammatical structure. Use: 'allows me to concentrate'. Suggestions: always use 'allow + object + to + base verb'. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: требует инфинитива с to.'

× I attend the Nazarbayev intellectual school in Simei.

✓ I attend the Nazarbayev Intellectual School in Simei.

Proper nouns for institutions often capitalize key words and may require the definite article depending on local usage. Capitalization correction is needed: 'Intellectual School'. If the official name includes 'the', use 'the Nazarbayev Intellectual School'. Suggestion: check official name and capitalize institution titles. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: неверное оформление имени собственного.'

× It provides A stimulating environment with dedicated teacher and plenty of opportunity to grow, such as advanced science labs and international competitions.

✓ It provides a stimulating environment with dedicated teachers and plenty of opportunities to grow, such as advanced science labs and international competitions.

Articles and noun number are incorrect: use lowercase 'a', plural 'teachers' to match general meaning, and plural 'opportunities'. Maintain agreement between quantifier 'plenty of' and plural noun. Suggestions: ensure article capitalization and noun-number agreement. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: согласование числа и использование артикля.'

× Absolutely, it's a very good place to study, The atmosphere is highly motivating and the school provides excellent facilities such as modern labs and well equipped library, as well as a wide range of academic programs and research opportunities.

✓ Absolutely, it's a very good place to study. The atmosphere is highly motivating, and the school provides excellent facilities such as modern labs and a well-equipped library, as well as a wide range of academic programs and research opportunities.

Run-on sentence and punctuation errors: a comma was used where a period or coordinating conjunction is needed. Also 'well equipped library' needs a hyphen and an article 'a'. Suggestions: split long clauses into separate sentences or use correct conjunctions; hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: пунктуация и структура предложения, отсутствие артикля и дефиса.'

× Overall, I'm quite satisfied with it, however, I would like to see the library open for longer hours so students can study in the evenings and more relaxation areas such as laundry or quiet gardens to help reduce stress and improve focus.

✓ Overall, I'm quite satisfied with it; however, I would like to see the library open for longer hours so students can study in the evenings, and more relaxation areas such as lounges or quiet gardens to help reduce stress and improve focus.

Punctuation and word choice issues: 'however' should be preceded by a semicolon or period when joining independent clauses. 'Laundry' is wrong collocation for relaxation area; 'lounges' is appropriate. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate coordinated ideas. Suggestions: use correct punctuation for conjunctive adverbs and choose accurate nouns for intended meaning. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: неверное использование вводного слова и выбор существительного.'

× Looking ahead, I'm intend to major in international relations and continue developing my language skills, especially French and Chinese.

✓ Looking ahead, I intend to major in international relations and continue developing my language skills, especially French and Chinese.

After the subject 'I' the verb should be in base form 'intend' not 'am intend'. 'Am' + present participle indicates continuous tense; 'intend' is a stative verb here. Suggestion: use simple present 'I intend' to express future plans. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: неправильная форма глагола после подлежащего.'

× I may perceive postgraduate study abroad because internationally experience will help me build a career in diplomacy and improve my fluency.

✓ I may pursue postgraduate study abroad because international experience will help me build a career in diplomacy and improve my fluency.

'Perceive' is the wrong verb; the correct verb is 'pursue' meaning to undertake study. 'Internationally experience' is incorrect word order and form; use 'international experience'. Suggestions: choose correct collocations: 'pursue postgraduate study abroad' and 'international experience'. (Explanation in English) 'Грамматическая ошибка: неправильный выбор глагола и словосочетания.'