学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct some grammar and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I’m both a student and a teacher”), then give one brief supporting detail about your education and job. Avoid unnecessary hesitation and unclear abbreviations (like “AT”).

範例: I’m both a student and a teacher. I recently completed a Master’s degree in Didactics, and I now work as a teacher at an educational institute in my city.

建議: Give a direct answer and provide one clear specific detail. Use correct tense and the proper name format. Avoid vague phrasing like “too” and unclear names without context.

範例: I studied in the English Department at Mostafa Bin Zayed University, which is in a rural area about 40 km from my hometown.

建議: Answer directly then give two brief, specific reasons. Watch subject–verb agreement and finish your sentence clearly. Replace vague ending “I find it really” with a specific opinion phrase.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to study because the university offers many majors to suit different interests, and it provides student accommodation, which makes staying near campus easy.

建議: Use a clear conditional form and avoid repetition. State one change and explain briefly why. Correct phrasing like “I would change the location” and replace unclear acronym “UMM”.

範例: If I could change one thing, I would move the university closer to my hometown because commuting takes a lot of time and energy.

建議: Give a clear, confident plan. Remove fillers (“uh”) and be specific about the degree and the reason. Use correct collocation: “a second Master’s degree in Communication.”

範例: Since I already have a Master’s in Didactics, I plan to pursue a second Master’s degree in Communication to improve my teaching and media skills.

× I recently graduated with master 2° in Didactics and I'm a teacher at educational institute at AT.

✓ I recently graduated with a Master 2° in Didactics and I'm a teacher at an educational institute in AT.

Missing articles and pluralization: 'master 2°' needs the article 'a' and capitalization for degree; 'educational institute' refers to a single institution here so requires the indefinite article 'an'; use preposition 'in' for location. Suggestion: use 'a Master 2°' and 'an educational institute in AT' to be grammatically correct.

× I used to study at the English department at university too, particularly Mostafa Bin Bullied which is located in a rural area far from my hometown.

✓ I studied in the English department at the university, particularly at Mostafa Bin Bullied, which is located in a rural area far from my hometown.

Preposition choices and tense: use 'in' with 'department' and include 'the' before 'university'. 'Used to study' suggests past habit but simple past 'I studied' fits the context. Also add 'at' before the specific university name and a comma before the relative clause.

× Well absolutely yes it is since my university has plenty of majors that suits different interests of students as well as it provides accommodation for the students so I find it really.

✓ Absolutely, yes it is, since my university has plenty of majors that suit different interests of students and it provides accommodation for students, so I find it really good.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'majors that suits' should be 'majors that suit' because 'majors' is plural. 'As well as' is awkward here; replace with 'and'. 'Provide accommodation for the students' is better as 'provides accommodation for students'. The sentence ended incomplete; add 'good' to complete the idea.

× Well, if I had to choose to change something about my university, I change the location of the university because it requires a lot of energy to UMM in order to attend the classes because it's far from my hometown.

✓ Well, if I had to choose to change something about my university, I would change its location because it requires a lot of energy to commute in order to attend classes since it's far from my hometown.

Conditional/modal error: In a conditional 'if I had to...', the result clause should use 'would' + base verb: 'I would change'. 'UMM' seems incorrect or unclear; likely 'commute' was intended. Use 'commute' and 'attend classes' (no 'the'). Replace repeated 'because' with 'since' for clarity and use possessive 'its location'.

× Well, since I already have my Master 2° in didactics, I would love to uh obtain another degree as well as in Masters uh and I would pick the major of communication.

✓ Since I already have my Master 2° in Didactics, I would like to obtain another degree, a master's degree in Communication.

Verb choice and noun form: 'would love to obtain' is acceptable but 'would like to obtain' is more natural here. 'As well as in Masters' is ungrammatical; use 'a master's degree in Communication'. Capitalize proper nouns and degree names. Remove filler words 'uh'.