学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and finish sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid trailing off and unnecessary repetition.

範例: I am both a nursing student and a part-time worker. Because I work while studying, I gain practical experience and extra income, but it can be tiring during exam periods. However, it has improved my communication and time-management skills.

建議: Use present tense when describing where you study and combine ideas coherently with linking words. Provide one specific detail (city or faculty) to make the answer more concrete.

範例: I study at a prestigious university in Lagos, Nigeria. Although it is well known and has a strong nursing program, it is far from my workplace, so commuting while working has been quite exhausting.

建議: Remove hesitation words and give a specific reason why it is good. Start with a topic sentence, then support it with one concrete example of what the university offers.

範例: Yes, it is an excellent place to study because the university offers up-to-date clinical training and strong academic support. For example, the nursing faculty runs regular practical workshops that help students gain hands-on experience.

建議: Be specific and finish your sentence. State one clear change and explain why it helps, using linking words for clarity. Avoid repetition and grammar errors.

範例: Yes. I would like the university to provide regional exam centers so students who live far away can avoid long commutes. This would reduce stress and make it easier for part-time students to attend exams on time.

建議: Give a clearer, more structured response: state your current plan, then a brief reason and a future possibility. Avoid informal contractions and unclear phrases.

範例: At the moment I plan to finish my degree and focus on gaining practical experience and building my career. Later, I may consider further study, such as a specialist nursing qualification, once I have more work experience.

× Currently I do, but I am a nursing student and I also work to gain practical experience and add to my source of income.

✓ Currently I am both studying and working; I am a nursing student and I also work to gain practical experience and supplement my income.

The original sentence uses 'Currently I do' which is vague and ungrammatical for present continuous activities. Use present continuous 'I am both studying and working' to clearly express simultaneous ongoing actions. 'Add to my source of income' is unnatural; use 'supplement my income.' Use a semicolon or conjunction to join related clauses for clarity.

× Actually doing both work and study together is quite taxing especially during busy academic period.

✓ Actually, doing both work and study together is quite taxing, especially during busy academic periods.

The sentence lacks commas for clarity and uses singular 'period' while meaning repeated busy times; plural 'periods' fits better. Beginning with 'Actually' should be followed by a comma. Adding a comma before the subordinate phrase 'especially...' improves readability.

× But it has helped me to build certain skills like communication, time management and.

✓ But it has helped me to build certain skills like communication and time management.

The original ends with an incomplete list and a trailing conjunction 'and.' Remove the trailing 'and' and reorder to present two complete items. No definite article issue alone, but the sentence needed completion and correct parallel structure.

× I studied in a prestigious university in Nigeria.

✓ I study at a prestigious university in Nigeria.

The student is currently studying (context from earlier). Using past tense 'studied' conflicts with earlier statement 'I am a nursing student.' For current enrollment, use present simple 'I study' or present continuous 'I am studying.' Also use preposition 'at' with 'university.'

× It is quite popular and one of the best school in my country.

✓ It is quite popular and one of the best schools in my country.

The noun 'one of the best' requires the plural noun 'schools.' Change 'school' to 'schools' to agree with the structure. Subject-verb agreement is maintained with 'is' referring to 'it.'

× It is actually very far from where I work and that made it really taxing for me to commute to school and also work at the same time.

✓ It is actually very far from where I work, and that makes it really taxing for me to commute to school and work at the same time.

Tense consistency: use present 'makes' since situation is ongoing. The preposition usage is fine, but comma needed before 'and' joining independent clauses. 'Commute to school and work at the same time' is clearer than 'also work at the same time.'

× Absolutely, I would recommend my university to anyone who is willing to study that.

✓ Absolutely, I would recommend my university to anyone who wants to study there.

'Study that' is incorrect; 'there' is the correct pronoun to refer to a place. Also 'wants to' is a more natural choice than 'is willing to.'

× They are keen to umm, building and shaping minds for a better tomorrow and equipping people for the future.

✓ They are keen on building and shaping minds for a better tomorrow and equipping people for the future.

Use correct collocation: 'keen on' followed by gerund. The original 'keen to umm, building' mixes 'keen to' with a gerund 'building' which is ungrammatical. Remove filler 'umm' and use 'keen on building.'

× Definitely, there are a couple of things that are are not comfortable for the students.

✓ Definitely, there are a couple of things that are not comfortable for the students.

Duplicate 'are' is an error. 'That are not comfortable for the students' is awkward; consider 'that are inconvenient for students' for natural phrasing. Correct the duplicated verb.

× For example, are having to move from a very long distance to the school just because we want to have our examinations.

✓ For example, having to travel a very long distance to the school just to take our examinations is inconvenient.

Original sentence has incorrect word order and lacks a proper subject. Recast as a gerund phrase 'having to travel...' as the subject and use 'to take our examinations' for natural collocation. 'Travel' is more appropriate than 'move' in this context.

× So if they can provide centers in other states where students will work part time can go for their examinations without.

✓ So if they could provide centers in other states where students who work part-time can go to take their examinations, it would help a lot.

Original is fragmented and missing elements. Add 'who' to modify 'students,' hyphenate 'part-time,' include 'go to take their examinations' to complete the idea, and restructure as a conditional clause with a result clause for clarity.

× To be honest, currently I do not have any future study plans, I just wanna graduate and choose my certificates to end some morning work on myself, build my career and gain practical experience.

✓ To be honest, currently I do not have any future study plans; I just want to graduate, develop my skills, build my career, and gain practical experience.

Use 'want to' instead of informal 'wanna.' The phrase 'choose my certificates to end some morning work on myself' is unclear and ungrammatical; replace with 'develop my skills' to convey likely meaning. Use semicolon to separate independent clauses and commas in the list. Maintain present tense for ongoing intentions.

× Uh, probably later I can consider starting again.

✓ Probably later I can consider starting again.

Remove filler 'Uh.' The modal 'can' is acceptable, but 'might' or 'could' is more natural for future possibility: 'I might consider starting again later.' This improves modality for future plans.