学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and directly state your status first, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., "looking forward to pursuing" not "for my pursuing"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I have just finished 12th grade in the medical stream. I plan to continue my studies in medicine and look for undergraduate courses that prepare me for a healthcare career.

建議: Answer the location question directly (name of the school) first, then give one clear detail about future plans. Reduce hesitations (avoid "umm, actually") and keep sentences grammatically correct ("looking forward to continuing").

範例: I studied at Sri Guru Harikrishnan Public School. I am planning to continue my education abroad, possibly studying healthcare or nursing in Australia.

建議: Address the question directly: say whether it is a good place and support with 1–2 specific reasons. Avoid repetition and vague phrases (e.g., "I never get too much information"). Use linking words like "because" or "for example" clearly and limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I think Australia is a very good place to study medicine because universities offer practical training and strong clinical placements. For example, many programs include internships in hospitals that give real-life experience.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the change you want, then give one or two specific examples of practical training (e.g., simulations, clinical rotations). Use linking words ("because", "for example") and check grammar ("how to deal with patients"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

範例: I would like my university to increase practical training because hands-on practice teaches clinical skills and emergency response. For example, regular simulation sessions and longer clinical rotations would help students learn how to treat patients and manage critical situations.

建議: Give a clear, concise statement of your plans in one sentence, then add one specific reason or detail. Avoid repetition and unclear phrasing (e.g., "some kind of which"). Use linking words like "because" and correct grammar ("vocational training").

範例: I plan to study abroad in Australia to pursue undergraduate healthcare studies because many universities offer vocational training and clinical placements that provide real-life experience.

× Well, I have recently completed my 12th grade in medical stream from Shiruguru Harikrishnan Public School and now I'm looking forward for my pursuing study in the medical stream.

✓ I recently completed my 12th grade in the medical stream at Shiruguru Harikrishnan Public School, and now I'm looking forward to pursuing further studies in medicine.

The sentence has awkward structure and incorrect preposition use: 'looking forward for my pursuing study' is incorrect. Use 'looking forward to' + gerund, so 'looking forward to pursuing'. Use 'further studies' or 'pursuing further studies' rather than 'my pursuing study'. Use 'in the medical stream' -> 'in medicine'. Also use the definite article 'the' for 'medical stream' and preposition 'at' for a school. Improve clarity and concision by reordering clauses.

× Actually umm, I have recently completed my 12th grade in medical stream from Sri Guru Harikrishnan Public School and now I'm looking forward to continue my career possibly including study abroad in healthcare or as well as in nursing field.

✓ I recently completed my 12th grade in the medical stream at Sri Guru Harikrishnan Public School, and now I'm looking forward to continuing my studies and possibly pursuing study abroad in healthcare or nursing.

Problems: 'looking forward to continue' is incorrect; after 'looking forward to' use a gerund ('continuing'). 'Career' vs 'studies' confusion—context requires 'continuing my studies' or 'pursuing a career'. 'as well as in nursing field' is awkward; use 'in nursing' or 'in the nursing field'. Use 'at' for school and include 'the' before 'medical stream'. Clean up redundancy and improve parallel structure.

× According to my opinion, I think Australia is the best because I think they provide more opportunities in the medical field as compared to the other country because I never get too much information from the other country.

✓ In my opinion, Australia is one of the best places because it provides more opportunities in the medical field compared to other countries.

Errors: 'According to my opinion' is non-idiomatic; use 'In my opinion'. 'I think' is redundant when already giving an opinion. Use singular/plural agreement: 'they provide' is incorrect for a country; use 'it provides'. 'the other country' should be 'other countries'. Remove irrelevant clause 'because I never get too much information from the other country' or rephrase if necessary. Streamline sentence to avoid repetition.

× But I find out that Australia is the one of the best country because they provide lot of skills related to the medical field and also give their real life experience.

✓ I find that Australia is one of the best countries because it provides many opportunities to develop medical skills and gives real-life experience.

Errors: 'the one of the best country' mixes singular/plural and articles; use 'one of the best countries'. 'they provide' should be 'it provides' for a country. 'provide lot of skills' should be 'provides many opportunities to develop skills' or 'provides a lot of training'. 'real life' should be hyphenated as 'real-life'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct plural forms.

× I think the main reason is that they have to provide more training on the practical skills rather than the traditional learning.

✓ I think the main issue is that universities should provide more training in practical skills instead of relying only on traditional classroom learning.

'have to provide' suggests obligation but sounds awkward; 'should provide' better expresses recommendation. 'training on the practical skills' should be 'training in practical skills'. 'rather than the traditional learning' is vague; use 'instead of relying only on traditional classroom learning'. Clarify the subject (universities) instead of 'they'.

× Because by doing some practical experiment they give more knowledge that how to deal with patient and how to handle any critical situation.

✓ By doing practical experiments, students gain more knowledge about how to deal with patients and how to handle critical situations.

Use gerund/plural: 'practical experiments' plural and 'doing' is fine but restructure. 'they give more knowledge that how to deal' is ungrammatical; use 'students gain more knowledge about how to deal with patients'. 'patient' needs plural and article if singular. 'any critical situation' -> 'critical situations'. Improve subject clarity and word order.

× And I think more of the university have to give more time such on doing these kind of task.

✓ I think universities should allocate more time to carrying out these kinds of tasks.

Problems: 'more of the university' is incorrect; use 'universities' or 'more university programs'. Subject-verb agreement: 'university have' -> 'universities should'. 'give more time such on doing' is unidiomatic; use 'allocate more time to carrying out'. 'these kind of task' should be 'these kinds of tasks' or 'this kind of task'.

× My few my future study plan that which I mentioned earlier that I have just completed my 12th grade and now I am currently planning to pursue my further study possibly including study abroad like in Australia.

✓ As I mentioned, my future study plan is to pursue further studies, possibly abroad in Australia, since I have just completed my 12th grade.

This sentence has redundant words ('My few my'), awkward structure and tense ordering. Reorder to a clearer sequence: state completion of 12th grade, then plan to pursue further studies, possibly abroad. Use 'pursue further studies' not 'pursue my further study'. Remove unnecessary words like 'currently' when context already implies present.

× Because I think there are the universities some kind of which provide more vocational training as compared to prefer to learn traditional learning and they also provide lot of real life.

✓ I think there are some universities that provide more vocational training rather than traditional academic instruction, and they also offer a lot of real-life experience.

Problems: 'there are the universities some kind of which' is ungrammatical; use 'some universities that'. 'as compared to prefer to learn traditional learning' is incorrect; use 'rather than traditional academic instruction'. 'provide lot of real life' -> 'offer a lot of real-life experience'. Fix pronoun/reference and improve parallelism and word choice.