机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 質問には直接「Yes, I did.」と答え、その後に具体的な活動と理由を説明すると、より自然で明確になります。「came asked」「what I like」「am activities」は文法・語彙の誤りなので、「asked me what I liked」「different activities」などに直しましょう。また、「opportunity」の繰り返しを避け、「encouraged me」や「gave me the chance to」を使うと効果的です。

範例: Yes, I did. My mother often asked me what I was interested in and encouraged me to try different activities. For example, I tried swimming and tennis when I was in elementary school. This helped me discover that I really enjoyed playing sports.

建議: 意見を最初に明確に述べている点は良いですが、文が長く、同じ語句や考えの繰り返しがあります。「another another」は削除し、「find out what they are good at」や「discover new hobbies」など、より自然な表現を使いましょう。また、「For example」や「As a result」などの linking words を使い、具体例を一つ加えると、内容がより説得力のあるものになります。

範例: Yes, definitely. Trying different activities helps people discover their strengths and interests. For example, someone might take a cooking class and realize that they enjoy preparing food and could even pursue it as a career. It also makes life more enjoyable because people can develop new hobbies.

× Yes, I had an opportunity to try to take part in new activities as a child because my mom came asked me what I like and based on that answer.

✓ Yes, I had an opportunity to take part in new activities as a child because my mom asked me what I liked and based her question on my answer.

The verb combination came asked is grammatically incorrect because two main verbs cannot be used together in this structure. Use asked by itself. Also, the phrase based on that answer is incomplete and unclear because it does not clearly show what was based on the answer. Make the relationship between the ideas clearer.

× My mom asked me what I like.

✓ My mom asked me what I liked.

The reporting verb asked is in the past tense, so the verb in the indirect question normally shifts back from like to liked. This is called backshifting in reported speech.

× She gave me a lot of opportunity to try a new sport or am activities.

✓ She gave me many opportunities to try new sports or other activities.

Opportunity is countable, so a lot of opportunity is incorrect in this context. Use many opportunities or a lot of opportunities. Sports and activities are plural because the answer refers to more than one possible option.

× A new sport or am activities.

✓ A new sport or other activities.

The phrase am activities is incorrect. The adjective other is needed to introduce additional activities. The article a is correct before the singular countable noun sport, while the plural noun activities does not take a.

× They have opportunity to find another another job or hobbies that they like.

✓ They have an opportunity to find another job or hobbies that they like.

The singular countable noun opportunity needs a determiner, so use an opportunity. Do not repeat another. Another is used before a singular countable noun, such as another job; it cannot directly modify the plural noun hobbies.

× They have opportunity to find another another job or hobbies that they like.

✓ They have an opportunity to find another job or hobbies that they like.

Another job is singular, whereas hobbies is plural. The original sentence mixes these forms after another. Use another job for one additional job, or use other hobbies for multiple hobbies.

× They could enjoy it.

✓ They can enjoy them.

The pronoun it is singular, but it refers to different things, such as jobs or hobbies. Use the plural pronoun them. Because the answer expresses a general possibility in the present, can is more suitable than could.

× They could enjoy it.

✓ They can enjoy them.

The question asks about what people generally should do, so can is the more appropriate modal verb for general ability or possibility. Could is usually used for past ability, politeness, or a more hypothetical possibility.

× Yes, I think people should try as many things as they can because by doing a lot of things they can know what they are good at or bad at and they have opportunity to find another another job or hobbies that they like and they could enjoy it.

✓ Yes, I think people should try as many different things as they can because, by doing so, they can discover what they are good or bad at. They may also have an opportunity to find another job or hobbies they like and can enjoy.

The original response contains too many ideas connected in one long sentence, which makes the structure difficult to follow. Divide the ideas into two sentences and use by doing so to avoid repetition. This creates a clearer connection between the activities and their results.