机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: คำตอบตรงคำถามและมีเหตุผลพร้อมรายละเอียดที่ชัดเจน เช่น พ่อแม่ยุ่งและใช้เวลาส่วนใหญ่อยู่บ้าน อย่างไรก็ตาม ควรแก้ไวยากรณ์ให้ถูกต้อง ได้แก่ “many opportunities” (ต้องเติม s), “busy with work” หรือ “busy working” และ “watching TV” ควรเชื่อมกับประโยคก่อนหน้าอย่างเป็นธรรมชาติ นอกจากนี้ ควรใช้ linking word เช่น “As a result” เพื่อแสดงผลลัพธ์ และอาจยกตัวอย่างกิจกรรมที่อยากลองเพื่อให้คำตอบเฉพาะเจาะจงมากขึ้น ระวังไม่ให้คำตอบยาวเกิน 5 ประโยค

範例: When I was a child, I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities because my parents were busy working. As a result, I usually spent my free time at home watching TV by myself. I wish I had been able to join a sports club or take music lessons because those activities might have helped me discover new interests.

建議: คำตอบมีจุดยืนชัดเจนและให้เหตุผลที่เกี่ยวข้อง เช่น การค้นหาความชอบ ความสามารถ และโอกาสในการประกอบอาชีพ แต่ควรแก้ไวยากรณ์หลายจุด ได้แก่ “For me, people”, “a lot of activities”, “what they are good at”, “develop their skills” และ “turn them into a career” นอกจากนี้ ประโยคยาวและมีหลายแนวคิดต่อกันโดยไม่มีเครื่องหมายวรรคตอนหรือ linking words ทำให้ฟังไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ ควรแบ่งเป็น 3–4 ประโยค และใช้คำเชื่อม เช่น “By doing this”, “If” และ “For example” เพื่อให้เหตุผลเป็นลำดับ ควรเพิ่มตัวอย่างที่เฉพาะเจาะจงเพื่อสนับสนุนความคิดเห็น

範例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, especially when they are young. By doing this, they can discover what they enjoy and what they are good at. For example, someone who tries cooking, photography, and volunteering may realize that they have a talent for working with people and eventually choose a related career.

× When I was a child I didn't have many opportunity to try new activities because my parents were very busy with work.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities because my parents were very busy with work.

The quantifier many must be followed by a plural countable noun. Therefore, opportunity should be changed to opportunities. Use many opportunities, not many opportunity.

× For me people should try as many different things as possible because by trying a lot of activity they can discover what they enjoy and what they good at if they find something they like, they can develop their skill further and maybe even turn it into a career.

✓ For me, people should try as many different things as possible because, by trying a lot of activities, they can discover what they enjoy and what they are good at. If they find something they like, they can develop their skills further and maybe even turn it into a career.

Activity and skill are countable nouns used in a general plural meaning here, so they should be activities and skills. Use plural nouns when referring to several activities or abilities.

× For me people should try as many different things as possible because by trying a lot of activity they can discover what they enjoy and what they good at if they find something they like, they can develop their skill further and maybe even turn it into a career.

✓ For me, people should try as many different things as possible because, by trying a lot of activity, they can discover what they enjoy and what they are good at. If they find something they like, they can develop their skill further and maybe even turn it into a career.

The clause what they good at is missing the verb be. The correct expression is what they are good at because the subject they requires are. Remember to include the appropriate form of be before an adjective phrase such as good at.

× For me people should try as many different things as possible because by trying a lot of activity they can discover what they enjoy and what they good at if they find something they like, they can develop their skill further and maybe even turn it into a career.

✓ For me, people should try as many different things as possible because, by trying a lot of activities, they can discover what they enjoy and what they are good at. If they find something they like, they can develop their skills further and maybe even turn it into a career.

The original sentence contains several independent ideas joined without clear sentence boundaries. Separate the ideas into two sentences and use commas around the introductory phrase by trying a lot of activities. Clear sentence boundaries make the relationship between the ideas easier to understand.