机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 질문에 직접 답한 점과 골프, 수영, 롤러스케이트 같은 구체적인 예를 제시한 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 문장이 ‘since I learned so’에서 중단되어 의미가 완성되지 않았고, ‘swimming class’보다는 ‘swimming lessons’가 더 자연스럽습니다. ‘made me do’는 부모님이 강요했다는 부정적인 뉘앙스를 줄 수 있으므로, 의도에 따라 ‘encouraged me to try’ 또는 ‘signed me up for’를 사용하는 것이 좋습니다. 답변은 주제문, 구체적인 활동, 그 경험에 대한 간단한 느낌이나 결과의 순서로 2~3문장으로 완성하세요.

範例: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. My parents encouraged me to take swimming lessons, play golf, and try roller skating. I especially enjoyed swimming because it helped me become more confident in the water.

建議: ‘Absolutely’로 의견을 분명히 밝히고 새로운 활동을 시도하는 이유를 제시한 점은 좋습니다. 다만 ‘people try to do’는 ‘people should try’로, ‘as many different activities as they can’은 ‘as many different activities as possible’로 고쳐야 하며, ‘a very good way’, ‘individual’s talents and interests’처럼 관사와 복수형을 정확히 사용해야 합니다. 마지막의 ‘So we need to do something different’는 앞의 내용을 반복하므로, 새로운 활동이 자신에게 맞는 취미나 능력을 발견하게 한다는 구체적인 결과나 예시로 마무리하세요.

範例: Absolutely. I think people should try as many different things as possible because it is a great way to discover their talents and interests. For example, someone might try photography or cooking and realize that they have a real passion for it. Trying new activities can also help people become more open-minded and confident.

× Yes, when I was a child my parents made me do a variety of activities such as golf and swimming class as well as roller skating since I learned so

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my parents made me take part in a variety of activities, such as golf, swimming, and roller skating.

The ending since I learned so is incomplete and does not form a meaningful clause. Remove it and use a complete list of activities. A comma is also needed after the introductory clause when I was a child.

× I think people try to do many different activities as they can

✓ I think people should try as many different activities as they can

The correct comparison pattern is as many + plural countable noun + as. The word should is also needed to express the idea that people are advised to try different activities.

× because it is very good way to find the individual's talents and interest

✓ because it is a very good way to discover their talents and interests

The singular countable noun way requires the indefinite article a. Without an article, a very good way is grammatically incomplete.

× to find the individual's talents and interest

✓ to discover their talents and interests

The sentence refers generally to people, so their is more appropriate than the singular possessive individual's. Also, talents and interests should both be plural because people may have more than one talent or interest.