机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question more directly and use more natural grammar. Replace “Definitely yes, this is because” with “Definitely. I was an outgoing child, and my parents and teachers encouraged me to try different activities.” Use the possessive form “the school’s drama club,” add articles in “the audience,” and avoid the unnatural phrase “I enjoyed myself being around the people.” You could also explain how participating in drama helped you, using a linking word such as “Moreover” or “As a result.”

範例: Definitely. I had many opportunities to try new activities because I was an outgoing child, and my parents and teachers encouraged me to do so. For example, I took part in my school’s drama club and played several different roles. I really enjoyed performing in front of the audience, and it helped me become more confident.

建議: Give a clearer opinion in the topic sentence and support it with a specific reason or example. Use correct forms such as “It depends on a person’s preferences and personality,” “different kinds of adventurous activities,” and “monotonous.” The phrase “be in family situations” is unclear; say “prefer familiar activities” or “enjoy spending time with their families.” Also, “get the ability” should be replaced with “develop the ability.”

範例: I think people should try a reasonable variety of activities, although it depends on their personality and circumstances. Trying new things can help them develop confidence and learn how to deal with challenges. For example, someone who takes up a new sport may become more sociable and disciplined. However, people who prefer familiar routines should not feel pressured to do too much.

× Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in school's drama club where I was applauded by audience as well as I enjoyed myself being around the people.

✓ Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and was often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in the school's drama club, where I was applauded by the audience, and I enjoyed being around other people.

The singular countable noun school needs the definite article the before its possessive form in this context: the school's drama club. Audience also refers to a specific group, so it should be the audience.

× Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in school's drama club where I was applauded by audience as well as I enjoyed myself being around the people.

✓ Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and was often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in the school's drama club, where I was applauded by the audience, and I enjoyed being around other people.

As well as is not used correctly before the independent clause I enjoyed. Use and to connect the two coordinated actions: I was applauded and I enjoyed being around other people.

× Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in school's drama club where I was applauded by audience as well as I enjoyed myself being around the people.

✓ Definitely yes, this is because I was an outgoing child and was often encouraged by my parents and teachers to participate in many different kinds of activities. For example, I played many roles in the school's drama club, where I was applauded by the audience, and I enjoyed being around other people.

The verb enjoy is normally followed directly by a gerund, or verb ending in -ing. Therefore, use enjoyed being rather than enjoyed myself being when describing an activity that was enjoyable.

× It depends upon person's own preference and personality. Some people love to be in family situations while others tend to enjoy different kind of adventurous activities so that they can get the ability to face the challenges in their life instead of leading a monotonious life.

✓ It depends upon a person's own preference and personality. Some people love to be in family situations, while others tend to enjoy different kinds of adventurous activities so that they can get the ability to face the challenges in their lives instead of leading a monotonious life.

Person is a singular countable noun, so it needs a determiner. Use a person's because the sentence refers to any individual person's preferences and personality.

× It depends upon person's own preference and personality. Some people love to be in family situations while others tend to enjoy different kind of adventurous activities so that they can get the ability to face the challenges in their life instead of leading a monotonious life.

✓ It depends upon a person's own preference and personality. Some people love to be in family situations, while others tend to enjoy different kinds of adventurous activities so that they can get the ability to face the challenges in their lives instead of leading a monotonious life.

Different modifies a plural noun when referring to more than one type, so use different kinds of activities. Because their refers to the plural noun people, life should also be plural: their lives.