机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答の内容は質問に直接答えており、茶道を始めたきっかけも説明できています。一方、「I have I had」の言い直し、「suggested me to go」は不自然なので、「My mother encouraged me to attend」または「My mother suggested that I attend」を使いましょう。また、「sadow」は「Sado」、「have interests in」は「became interested in」のほうが自然です。最後は「I have continued learning it」として時制を整え、理由や現在の状況をつなぎ言葉で明確にすると、より流暢で効果的になります。

範例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, my mother encouraged me to attend tea ceremony lessons with her. I became interested in Sado, the Japanese tea ceremony, and I have continued learning it ever since.

建議: 「I totally agree」は明確ですが、「This is because」で始めた後の文の構造が不自然です。「when they became elderly」は一般論なので「when they get older」、「leads to have new insights」は「helps them gain new insights」または「gives them new insights」としましょう。また、「but like」は不要です。例えば、最初に理由を述べ、次に新しい活動がもたらす具体的な結果を説明すると、論理の流れがより自然になります。

範例: Yes, I completely agree. Trying different activities helps people discover new interests and gain valuable insights into life. In addition, it can make them more confident about trying unfamiliar things, even when they get older.

× I have I had a chance to take part in like tea ceremony lessons.

✓ I had a chance to take part in tea ceremony lessons.

The question asks about the students childhood, so the past tense is appropriate. The phrase I have I had is also a repetition and should be reduced to I had. The filler like should be removed in this sentence.

× My mother suggested me to go there together.

✓ My mother suggested that I go there with her.

Suggest is not normally followed by an object and an infinitive in this pattern. Use suggest that someone do something, or suggest doing something. The phrase with her clearly expresses the meaning of together.

× I started to have interests in sadow tea ceremony.

✓ I started to have an interest in the Japanese tea ceremony.

Interest is normally used as a singular countable noun when referring to one area of interest, so it needs the article an. The definite article the is used because the sentence refers to a specific traditional activity. The spelling sadow is not a grammar issue, so it has been expressed as Japanese tea ceremony for clarity.

× Since then I started to have interests in sadow tea ceremony and I continue learning it.

✓ Since then, I have been interested in the Japanese tea ceremony and have continued learning it.

Since then describes an action or situation that began in the past and continues to the present. The present perfect forms have been and have continued are therefore more suitable than the simple past started and the simple present continue.

× People tend to be afraid of starting something when they became elderly.

✓ People tend to be afraid of starting something when they become older.

This sentence expresses a general tendency, so the present tense become is required. Became is the past tense and does not match this general statement. Become older is also more natural than become elderly in this context.

× Starting new things leads to have new insights into their lives.

✓ Starting new things leads to having new insights into their lives.

In the expression lead to, to is a preposition, not part of an infinitive. Therefore, it must be followed by a gerund ending in -ing: leads to having. Do not use leads to have in this structure.