机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your response mentions a competition, but it is incomplete and difficult to follow because of frequent hesitations, repetition, and inaccurate verb forms. Begin with a clear answer in the past tense, such as “Yes, I did.” Then explain what the activity was, when it happened, and why it was important to you. Use correct forms such as “There were many opportunities,” “when I was in Grade 5,” and “I took part in a competition.”

範例: Yes, I did. When I was in Grade 5, I took part in a school competition between different classes. We had to give a short presentation, and I really enjoyed working with my classmates. It was a valuable experience because it helped me become more confident.

建議: You give a clear opinion and provide reasons, but the answer contains repetition and unnatural phrases such as “the people,” “try the many things,” and “grow up in their life.” State your opinion once, then organize your reasons with linking words such as “because” and “in addition.” Use more natural expressions, including “gain knowledge,” “deal with challenges,” and “develop as individuals.” Add one specific example to make your answer more effective.

範例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. In addition, unfamiliar experiences can teach people how to deal with challenges and become more independent. For example, someone who joins a sports club may improve both their physical fitness and their ability to work in a team.

× There is many opportunities, uh, when I was a child.

✓ There were many opportunities when I was a child.

The noun opportunities is plural, so use were instead of is. Because the sentence refers to childhood in the past, use the past form were. Also, the introductory phrase does not need a comma before when.

× When are you used to study in Grade 5?

✓ When I used to study in Grade 5,

The phrase are you used to study is not grammatically correct. Used to is followed by the base form of the verb and expresses a past habit, so use I used to study. Because this is not a question, do not use the question word order are you.

× There was a competition between the students, uh, uh, when I was, uh, studying in Grade 5 and that the one that is 1, the big opportunity I have when I was a.

✓ There was a competition among the students when I was studying in Grade 5, and that was the biggest opportunity I had when I was a child.

The original sentence contains incomplete and incorrectly connected clauses, including that the one that is 1 and when I was a. A complete sentence needs a clear subject and verb in each clause. Use that was to connect the competition with the opportunity, and finish the final clause with a complete noun phrase: a child.

× That is 1, the big opportunity I have when I was a child.

✓ That was the biggest opportunity I had when I was a child.

The sentence describes an event that happened in the past, so use was instead of is and had instead of have. The superlative form biggest is also needed to express that it was the most important opportunity.

× Of course people should try the many things they can.

✓ Of course, people should try as many different things as they can.

To express the idea of trying the maximum possible number of things, use the structure as many + plural countable noun + as. The article the is not needed before things in this general statement.

× This helps them to gain knowledge about the different things and different places and helps to fight with the problems they face in their life.

✓ This helps them gain knowledge about different things and places and helps them fight the problems they face in life.

The verb fight normally takes a direct object in this context, so say fight the problems rather than fight with the problems. The phrases different things and different places can be joined more naturally as different things and places. In life is the appropriate general expression here.

× It helps them to grow up in their life.

✓ It helps them grow in their lives.

The plural pronoun their refers to people, so the corresponding noun should normally be plural: lives. Grow is more appropriate than grow up when discussing personal development or progress in life.