机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly in the past tense because the question refers to childhood. Avoid repetition and unfinished phrases such as “I have plenty” and “I also like want to.” Use a clear topic sentence followed by specific examples and a reason. Improve word choice and grammar: say “I had plenty of opportunities,” “I took part in,” and “sports clubs” instead of “take participation in” and “clubs which are related to sports.”

範例: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child. I often played different games and joined sports clubs at school. For example, I tried basketball and swimming, which helped me make new friends and become more confident.

建議: State your opinion clearly and use the correct pronoun and natural expressions. Replace “his routine” with “their routine,” “seven to five job” with “a nine-to-five job,” and “on the evening time” with “in the evening.” Avoid fillers and repetition such as “like” and “for example.” Develop the answer with one clear reason and a specific example, using linking words such as “because” and “for instance.”

範例: Yes, I think people should try different activities because it helps them discover new interests and avoid a monotonous routine. For instance, someone with a nine-to-five job could take an evening cooking class or join a sports club. This would help them relax and meet people outside work.

× I have plenty of opportunities when I was a child.

✓ I had plenty of opportunities when I was a child.

Childhood is a finished period in the past, so use the simple past had instead of the present perfect have.

× Yes, I have plenty.

✓ Yes, I had plenty of opportunities.

Plenty normally needs of before a noun, as in plenty of opportunities. The noun should also be included to make the meaning complete.

× By childhood, I was interested in extracurricular activities.

✓ During my childhood, I was interested in extracurricular activities.

During is the appropriate preposition for describing a period of time. By usually means no later than a particular time or deadline.

× Clubs which are related to sports.

✓ Clubs that were related to sports.

Because the student is describing childhood activities in the past, the past form were is more consistent than the present form are.

× I also like want to take participation in sports clubs.

✓ I also liked taking part in sports clubs.

After liked, taking is a natural gerund form. The expression take part in is grammatically correct; take participation in is not the usual verb pattern.

× Similarly, I also like want to take participation in

✓ Similarly, I also liked taking part in sports clubs.

The original sentence is incomplete because the preposition in has no object. A complete sentence needs to state what activity or group the speaker took part in.

× People should try everything that is different from his routine.

✓ People should try things that are different from their routines.

People is plural, so the corresponding possessive pronoun should be their, not his. Their routines also agrees in number with people.

× A man is doing seven to five job.

✓ A person is working a nine-to-five job.

A singular countable noun such as job needs a determiner, so use a job. The phrase nine-to-five job is also the standard expression for a regular full-time job.

× A man is doing a seven-to-five job and doing nothing.

✓ A person works a nine-to-five job and does nothing else.

With the singular subject a person, use the third-person singular forms works and does. The original sentence also needs a finite verb rather than only the -ing forms doing.

× He can like prefer to do other activities.

✓ They can choose to do other activities.

Can is followed by the base form of one main verb. Like and prefer should not be placed together as competing main verbs here; choose clearly expresses the intended meaning.

× On the evening time.

✓ In the evening.

The standard expression for this time of day is in the evening. The word time is unnecessary in this phrase.

× For example and like they like a man is like doing seven to five job and doing nothing so he can like prefer to do other activities on the evening time.

✓ For example, if a person works a nine-to-five job and does nothing else, they can choose to do other activities in the evening.

The original contains several repeated fillers and does not form a clear conditional sentence. Use if to introduce the condition and a main clause to express the result. The corrected sentence also keeps the subject and pronoun consistent.