机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary and grammar, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "did have" and "lots of chances" together). Also correct the activity name and tense: "volleyball" not "volleybore", and say "when I was in primary school."

範例: Yes. I had many opportunities to try new activities when I was in primary school. For example, I took ballet and joined a volleyball club, which helped me become fitter and more confident.

建議: Make your opinion clear in one sentence, then give one concise reason with correct grammar and linking words. Remove repetitions and awkward phrasing (e.g., "try try", "could broaden their horizon that they can"). Use specific benefits and a simple linking word like "because" or "for example."

範例: Absolutely. People should try many different things because it broadens their horizons and helps them discover new interests and skills. For example, trying a new sport or hobby can teach teamwork and boost creativity.

× I did have lots of chances to take parts in new activities as a child.

✓ I did have lots of chances to take part in new activities as a child.

The phrase 'take part' is the correct idiom meaning 'participate'. 'Take parts' is incorrect because 'part' in this expression is singular; you 'take part in' something. Suggestion: use 'take part in' or simply 'participate in'.

× For example, I used to learn Ballet and Volleybore in my primary school time.

✓ For example, I used to learn ballet and volleyball when I was in primary school.

'Ballet' should be lowercase unless treated as a proper noun. 'Volleybore' is a misspelling of 'volleyball'. The phrase 'in my primary school time' is awkward; use 'when I was in primary school'. Suggestion: correct spelling and use natural time expression.

× And I was very excited about it.

✓ I was very excited about them.

The pronoun 'it' refers to a singular noun but the previous sentence mentions two activities (ballet and volleyball). Use 'them' for plural reference. Also avoid starting sentences with 'And' in formal speech; combine with previous sentence if appropriate.

× Absolutely. I believe that people try try as many different things as they can could broaden their horizon that they can learn about new things and gain lot more deeper insight of different things.

✓ Absolutely. I believe that trying as many different things as possible can broaden people's horizons, help them learn new things, and give them much deeper insights into different subjects.

Multiple issues combined: duplicated word 'try try'; incorrect structure 'people try ... could broaden' mixes verb patterns. Use a gerund 'trying' or 'if people try' with proper modal/tense. 'Broaden their horizon' should be plural 'horizons'. 'Gain lot more deeper insight' is ungrammatical and redundant ('more' and 'deeper' both comparative). Use 'much deeper insights' or 'a much deeper insight'. Use 'into' rather than 'of' after 'insight'. Suggestion: simplify structure and avoid redundancy.