机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise, use correct verb tenses, and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetitive phrases and grammatical errors (e.g., use past tense for childhood). Add a brief example or result to make the answer more informative.

範例: When I was a child, I rarely had opportunities to try new activities because we were very poor and my mother raised us alone. As a result, she prioritized our schoolwork and we focused on studying rather than extracurriculars, so I never attended clubs or lessons outside school.

建議: Finish your thoughts and structure the response: start with a clear opinion, give one or two concise reasons using linking words, and finish with an example or short consequence. Use more precise vocabulary and avoid vague phrases like ‘it really depends’ unless you explain why.

範例: I think people should try different things because it broadens their skills and helps them discover interests. For example, learning both coding and public speaking improved my problem-solving and confidence, so I became more adaptable in my studies and work.

× I don't have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because we grew up really poor and my mom is single and we have to make ends meet.

✓ I didn't have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child because we grew up really poor, my mom was single, and we had to make ends meet.

The student mixes present tense ('don't have', 'have to') with past context ('as a child', 'grew up'). Use past tense for past situations: 'didn't have', 'was', 'had to'. Also add commas to separate clauses for clarity. (Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue; also relates to 5 Past tense issue.)

× That's why we don't really have the opportunity to take new activities as a child.

✓ That's why we didn't really have the opportunity to take part in new activities as children.

Again, use past tense 'didn't' and plural 'children' to match 'we'. Use the correct verb phrase 'take part in' rather than 'take' activities. The original wrongly mixes singular 'child' with plural subject 'we'. (Grammar problem type ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns; ID:1 Singular and plural issue.)

× Instead, my mom would only focus us in her academics.

✓ Instead, my mom would only focus on our academics.

The verb 'focus' requires the preposition 'on' and the object should be 'our academics' rather than 'us in her academics'. 'Her academics' is wrong because the academics belong to the children; use 'our'. (Grammar problem type ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions; ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns.)

× I believe it really depends on the situation but for me I think people should try to learn different things as they can because it's not really good to just focus on one thing because it is a human nature to know as many things as possible.

✓ I believe it really depends on the situation, but for me I think people should try to learn as many different things as they can because it's not good to focus on just one thing; it is human nature to be curious about many things.

Replace 'as they can' position to 'as many different things as they can' and use 'as many' for quantity. Remove redundant 'really' and reorder 'focus on just one thing'. 'Human nature' does not need 'a' and use 'to be curious about' for natural phrasing. Maintain present tense general statement. (Grammar problem type ID:14 Incorrect use of quantifiers; ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs; ID:26 Sentence structure errors.)

× For example, when learning a subject, it is not

✓ For example, when learning a subject, it is not enough to study only one aspect; exploring different areas can help you understand the subject better.

The original is an incomplete sentence fragment ending abruptly. Provide a full clause completing the thought. Use present tense for a general statement and clarify the consequence. (Grammar problem type ID:23 Sentence without a verb; ID:26 Sentence structure errors.)