机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ปรับคำแกรมมาร์และรูปร่างประโยคให้ชัดเจน เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรง (topic sentence) แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดที่เฉพาะเจาะจง ใช้คำกริยาช่วงเวลาที่ถูกต้องและเติมข้อมูลที่ขาด เช่น ใครเป็นผู้สอน ระยะเวลาที่เรียน หรือความรู้สึกเกี่ยวกับกิจกรรมนั้น หลีกเลี่ยงความซ้ำซ้อนและคำที่ไม่จำเป็น

範例: Yes, I did. When I was in primary school, my parents enrolled me in traditional Thai dance classes taught by a local instructor. I took lessons for about two years and enjoyed learning the costumes and graceful movements, which helped me appreciate my culture.

建議: ปรับความชัดเจนของเหตุผลและเชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำเชื่อม ใช้คำศัพท์ที่เหมาะสม (เช่น "try" แทน "tie") และแสดงตัวอย่างหรือผลลัพธ์ที่เป็นรูปธรรม เพิ่มความคล่องแคล่วด้วยโครงสร้างประโยคที่กระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติ

範例: Yes, I believe people should try different things because life is short and new experiences help us grow. For example, trying a new hobby or job can teach useful skills and make you more adaptable when facing unexpected challenges.

× Yes, I have a chance to do an activities when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had the chance to do activities when I was a child.

The sentence mixes singular and plural nouns and uses the wrong tense. Use past tense 'had' to match 'when I was a child'. Use 'the chance' (singular) or 'a chance to do an activity' or 'activities' without 'an'. Better: 'had the chance to do activities'. Suggestion: Match singular/plural forms and use past tense: 'I had the chance to do activities.'

× When I was in the primary school, my parent took me to learn a traditional Thai dance which is taught by.

✓ When I was in primary school, my parents took me to learn a traditional Thai dance taught by a teacher.

Problems: 'the primary school' is unnatural—use 'primary school' or 'the primary school' depending on context; 'my parent' should be plural 'my parents' if referring to both, or 'my parent' needs specification. The clause 'which is taught by' is incomplete and needs an agent: 'taught by a teacher' or specify the teacher's name. Suggestion: use 'my parents' and finish the relative clause: 'taught by a teacher.' (Note: Use past tense 'took' already correct.)

× Yes, I think people should try different things that they can because our life is short so we have to tie new things.

✓ Yes, I think people should try different things they can because life is short, so we have to try new things.

Errors: 'that they can' is redundant—'things they can' or 'as they can' is fine. 'tie new things' is a spelling mistake; should be 'try new things'. Also 'our life is short' is acceptable but 'life is short' is more natural. Suggestion: use modal 'should' correctly and correct typo to 'try.'

× That's will be we will be faced the new situation and try to fix it.

✓ Then we will face new situations and try to solve them.

Problems: 'That's will be' is ungrammatical; double future 'will be we will be faced' is incorrect. Use simple future 'we will face' or present continuous if appropriate. 'Be faced the new situation' is passive and wrong form; use active 'face new situations.' 'Try to fix it' is vague—use 'solve them' to match plural 'situations.' Suggestion: Simplify to 'Then we will face new situations and try to solve them.'