机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct verb forms and articles, and make sentences more concise. Provide a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "around the people" and correct names or explain them. Keep to under five sentences.

範例: Yes. I was very outgoing as a child, so I often asked my teachers for permission to join extracurricular activities. For example, I attended drama and acting classes where I could express myself and build confidence. I also enjoyed working with classmates in school events, which helped me become more sociable.

建議: Make a direct, balanced opinion first, then give one clear reason with a concise example. Fix grammar (possessive, articles, subject-verb agreement) and use linking words (however, on the other hand). Avoid unnatural words like "immune" in this context.

範例: I think it depends on the individual. Some people prefer stability and focus on family responsibilities, while others enjoy trying new things to learn and grow. For example, a friend of mine takes evening classes to explore hobbies, which has helped her gain new skills and confidence.

× I was extremely outgoing child during those days and often encourage to my teacher to participate in many extracurricular activities.

✓ I was an extremely outgoing child during those days and often encouraged my teacher to let me participate in many extracurricular activities.

Missing article 'an' before 'extremely outgoing child' (article error). Verb tense and form: 'encourage to my teacher' is incorrect; use past tense 'encouraged' to match 'was' and use direct object 'my teacher' with an infinitive 'to let me participate' or rephrase as 'encouraged my teacher to let me participate'. Suggest using 'an' before singular countable nouns and matching verb tense and structure. Grammar problem type ID:22

× For example, I used to participate in Brahma and acting school where I got the opportunity to express myself fully.

✓ For example, I used to attend a drama and acting school where I got the opportunity to express myself fully.

Incorrect preposition/verb collocation: 'participate in Brahma and acting school' is awkward and 'Brahma' likely a typo for 'drama'. Use 'attend' for schools. Also add article 'a' before 'drama and acting school'. Suggest using correct verb-school collocations and checking spelling. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Moreover I enjoyed being around the people.

✓ Moreover, I enjoyed being around people.

Unnecessary definite article 'the' before plural 'people' makes the phrase sound specific; general statement requires no article. Also add a comma after 'Moreover'. Suggest removing 'the' when speaking generally about people. Grammar problem type ID:12

× It entirely depends on person's own preferences in personality, some people are quite comfortable with their family situation instead of doing multitasking whereas other one really courageous enough to handle lots of challenges and immune enough to do many tasks at one time.

✓ It entirely depends on a person's preferences and personality; some people are quite comfortable with their family situation instead of multitasking, whereas others are courageous enough to handle many challenges and able to do several tasks at one time.

Multiple issues: missing article 'a' before 'person's' (article error) and noun phrase ordering. 'Preferences in personality' is awkward — use 'preferences and personality'. Use plural 'others' to match 'some people' (subject-verb agreement/pronoun). 'Multitasking' is a noun; 'doing multitasking' is incorrect (use 'multitasking' or 'doing multiple tasks'). 'Other one really courageous enough' lacks auxiliary verb and article; use 'others are courageous enough'. 'Immune enough' is incorrect collocation; use 'able to' or 'capable of'. Suggest reorganizing sentence into clearer clauses, using correct articles, plural pronouns, and appropriate adjectives/verbs. Grammar problem type ID:6

× ...whereas other one really courageous enough to handle lots of challenges and immune enough to do many tasks at one time.

✓ ...whereas others are courageous enough to handle many challenges and able to do several tasks at one time.

'Other one' is incorrect; use 'others' for plural contrast. 'Lots of challenges' is informal but acceptable; 'many challenges' is more formal. 'Many tasks at one time' is fine but 'several tasks' sounds more natural. Also 'immune enough' is wrong word choice. Suggest using correct plural forms and appropriate quantifiers. Grammar problem type ID:14