机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Улучшите связность и ясность ответа: начните с прямого тематического предложения, затем приведите 2–3 конкретных примера. Избегайте повторов («I was I was») и неуверённых вставок («like yeah»). Используйте связки (for example, also, in addition) и точные глаголы (e.g. learned, practised). Поддержите примеры краткими деталями (сколько лет, насколько серьёзно занимались). Максимум 4–5 предложений.

範例: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I learned to play the piano from age seven and took lessons for five years. I also enjoyed drawing and attended an art club every weekend. In addition, I tried dance classes for a couple of years, which helped me become more confident and active.

建議: Сделайте ответ более естественным и аргументированным: начните с чётого утверждения («Yes, I think…»), затем приведите 2–3 причин с логическими связками (because, so, therefore). Избегайте неуклюжих оборотов («as many opportunities as the life is given to you») — используйте более естественные фразы («as many different things as possible»). Добавьте личный пример или результат, чтобы подкрепить мнение. Ограничьте ответ 3–4 предложениями.

範例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because it helps them discover new interests and build skills. For instance, trying new hobbies can improve confidence and creativity. I follow this approach myself, and it has helped me find activities I really enjoy and meet new people.

× For example, I was drawing, I was playing the piano, I was I was going to for dancing like yeah.

✓ For example, I drew, I played the piano, and I took dancing classes.

The student overuses continuous past 'was + -ing' where simple past is more natural for habitual or completed activities in childhood. Also 'going to for dancing' is ungrammatical; use 'took dancing classes' or 'went to dance lessons'. Suggest using simple past for past habits and use correct collocations like 'take classes' or 'go to lessons'.

× I believe that to stay an active and a positive person it's really important to try as many opportunities as the life is given to you.

✓ I believe that to stay an active and positive person it's really important to try as many opportunities as life gives you.

The phrase 'try as many opportunities' uses the wrong verb collocation; we 'take' or 'try out' opportunities. The clause 'as the life is given to you' is passive and unnatural. Use active voice 'life gives you' and remove unnecessary articles. Also 'a positive person' does not need 'an' before 'positive' when paired with 'active' optionally; keep 'an active and positive person' or 'an active, positive person'. Here 'an' before 'active' is necessary if 'person' is singular preceded by adjectives.