机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and organized: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Use correct grammar (tense, articles, singular/plural) and clearer vocabulary. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

範例: Not really. I grew up in a remote part of eastern Nepal where there were few organized activities for children. For example, most families focused on farming, so my friends and I mainly played football and simple street games after school. These games helped my teamwork and fitness, but I didn’t have chances to try formal clubs or classes.

建議: Answer the question directly, then give two clear reasons linked with connectors (for example, 'because' or 'so'). Use complete sentences, correct verb forms and clearer nouns. Be specific about how trying different things helps (skills, decisions, confidence).

範例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities. Trying different things helps you discover your interests and build useful skills like communication or problem-solving. For instance, joining a music class and a sports team taught me discipline and helped me decide what I enjoy most.

× No, because we are from Middle East of Nepal so there even middle-aged people don't have jobs.

✓ No, because we are from the middle of Nepal, where even middle-aged people don't have jobs.

The phrase 'Middle East of Nepal' is incorrect for location; use 'the middle of Nepal' or 'central Nepal'. Also 'so there even' is not grammatical; use 'where even' to introduce the clause describing that location. Use the definite article 'the' with 'middle' when specifying a region.

× So we are just playing football and playing other game and that's activities are really improve.

✓ So we just played football and other games, and those activities really helped us improve.

The original mixes tenses and has incorrect noun forms. 'We are just playing' should match past context 'as a child' so use past simple 'we just played'. 'Other game' must be plural 'other games'. 'That's activities are' is ungrammatical; use 'those activities' and verb 'helped' to match past. 'Really improve' needs an object 'us' to indicate who improved.

× Yes they can because because doing many different thing in childhood, improving your and focus your goals when you grow up and that different things help us for many things which is very good in our.

✓ Yes, they should, because doing many different things in childhood helps you discover and focus on your goals when you grow up, and those experiences help you in many ways.

'They can' is acceptable but 'should' better matches advice context; this corrects modality. Remove duplicate 'because'. 'Doing many different thing' needs plural 'things'. 'Improving your and focus your goals' is ungrammatical; use 'helps you discover and focus on your goals'. 'That different things help us for many things which is very good in our' is unclear; replace with 'those experiences help you in many ways'. Ensure verb agreement: 'doing... helps' uses third-person singular 'helps'.