机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “No, I didn’t have many opportunities.”), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g. “because,” “so,” “for example”). Avoid filler words like “like” and correct grammar (e.g. subject-verb agreement, past tense).

範例: No, I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my parents ran a restaurant. As a result, I spent most of my free time helping at the restaurant or watching TV, and I only occasionally played at the nearby playground.

建議: Give a clear opinion sentence and support it with coherent reasons and an example. Use linking words (e.g. “first,” “because,” “for example”) and correct grammar (modal verbs, verb forms). Avoid vague or unclear phrases; be specific about benefits of trying new things (skills, confidence, perspective). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I believe people should try many different things because it helps them learn new skills and gain confidence. For example, trying a new sport or hobby can teach teamwork and time management, which are useful in both personal and professional life.

× No, not really. I don't have that opportunity to do something new when I was child because like due to my parents, they're running the restaurant.

✓ No, not really. I didn't have the opportunity to do new things when I was a child because my parents ran a restaurant.

This sentence mixes present and past tenses and has awkward phrasing. The student refers to a past situation, so use past tense 'didn't have' and 'ran'. 'Do something new' should be pluralized and made into 'do new things' to sound natural. Add the article 'a' before 'child'. Remove filler words like 'like' and unnecessary repetition 'due to' and 'they're'. Suggested improvement: keep tense consistent and simplify phrasing: 'I didn't have the opportunity to try new things when I was a child because my parents ran a restaurant.'

× So when I was childhood, my activity and daily life just maybe like watch TV or sometime in the playground and help the business restaurant.

✓ So when I was a child, my activities were mostly watching TV, sometimes playing in the playground, and helping in the restaurant business.

The original uses incorrect tense forms and missing articles. Use 'was a child' (add 'a'), and 'activities were' (past tense) to match past context. Use gerunds 'watching' and 'playing' after verbs describing activities. Use 'sometimes' (not 'sometime') and 'helping in the restaurant business' for clarity. Suggestion: list activities with parallel gerund forms and correct article usage.

× I think absolutely yes, if by doing some new task and try something new will learning something different in your own experience.

✓ I think absolutely yes. By doing new tasks and trying new things you will learn something different from your own experience.

This sentence mixes conditional structure and verb forms incorrectly. Use parallel gerunds 'doing' and 'trying'. 'Will learning' is incorrect; use 'will learn'. Add 'from' before 'your own experience' to indicate source of learning. Break into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: use consistent verb forms and correct future tense 'will + base verb'.

× So by trying different thing is also I believe that is as the human that's purpose because we burned to.

✓ I also believe that trying different things is part of being human and part of our purpose because we are driven to explore.

The original sentence has several structural and word choice errors. Use plural 'things'. Reorder clause to 'trying different things is part of being human' for clarity. 'That's purpose' is ungrammatical; use 'part of our purpose'. 'We burned to' is incorrect and unclear; 'driven to explore' conveys likely intended meaning. Suggestion: simplify sentence structure and choose idiomatic verbs like 'driven' or 'motivated'.