机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific examples with brief details. Use linking words (for example, also) and correct grammar (e.g., “take part in” not “for”). Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like “greater tension.”

範例: Yes. I had many chances to try new activities at school. For example, I played on the football team and took part in the school quiz, which helped me work in a team and think quickly under pressure. I was also a class leader in physical training, which improved my confidence and responsibility.

建議: Make the response more concise and organized: give a direct opinion, then two clear reasons with linking words (for example, because / moreover). Avoid fillers like “like very, very” and awkward phrasing such as “to the early stages.” Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “develop teamwork” instead of “coordinate with others”).

範例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities because it helps them develop new skills and build confidence. For example, learning a sport can improve teamwork and fitness, and joining clubs can improve communication and leadership, which are useful in studies and future careers.

× I had several opportunities in this school to for new activities such as playing football, taking part in quiz, taking part in skates, giving compositions, taking part in the assembly, being a leader in the PT and many other several things which involve a lot of greater tension.

✓ I had several opportunities at this school to take part in new activities such as playing football, participating in quizzes and skating, giving compositions, taking part in assemblies, being a leader in PT, and many other activities that involved a lot of pressure.

Problems: incorrect preposition 'in this school' (use at), extra preposition 'to for', incorrect collocations 'taking part in quiz' (use participating in quizzes), 'taking part in skates' (use skating), 'taking part in the assembly' (pluralize assemblies), 'many other several things' (redundant quantifiers), and awkward phrase 'a lot of greater tension' (use pressure). Suggestions: use correct prepositions (at this school; to take part in), use standard verbs/collocations (participating in quizzes; skating), remove redundant words, pluralize countable nouns when appropriate, and choose a natural noun for the idea (pressure).

× Yes, people should try as many things as they can because it will give them the opportunity to work on new things, build confidence, try to get some new skills and coordinate with others which are like very, very essential things in life to the early stages of your life and career.

✓ Yes, people should try as many things as they can because it will give them opportunities to learn new things, build confidence, acquire new skills, and cooperate with others, which are very important in the early stages of life and career.

Problems: inconsistent use of modal 'should' is acceptable but sentence has style and grammatical issues: 'it will give them the opportunity' better as plural 'opportunities'; 'try to get some new skills' is awkward (use acquire new skills); 'coordinate with others which are like very, very essential things' has incorrect relative clause and filler 'like' and repeated 'very'. Also 'to the early stages of your life and career' has wrong preposition 'to' and inconsistent perspective. Suggestions: use plural or general nouns to match list, replace informal fillers, use correct relative clause 'which are', and use 'in the early stages of life and career' for natural phrasing.