机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Remove filler words (uh, um) and correct grammar (use past tense consistently). Use a linking word to connect the idea and give a short reason or feeling about the event.

範例: Yes. I had several chances to try new activities as a child. For example, my school held a drawing competition and my teachers encouraged me to enter because I was good at painting, so I took part and really enjoyed the experience.

建議: Give a direct opinion statement followed by two clear reasons with a linking word. Avoid repetition and fillers, and use correct verb forms and plural agreement. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and include a brief example or result to make it specific.

範例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it helps them develop new skills and discover their strengths. For instance, trying a new sport or hobby can build confidence and open up future opportunities.

× Yes, I have many opportunities to take part in my childhood.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities to take part in activities during my childhood.

The student used present simple 'have' but the time reference is 'in my childhood' which requires past tense. Change 'have' to 'had' and add 'activities during' for clarity.

× Uh, I remember, uh, there was a drawing competition, uh, in my school.

✓ I remember there was a drawing competition at my school.

The sentence is mostly correct but 'in my school' is less natural than 'at my school.' Use 'at' for events located at institutions.

× So my teachers told me that, uh, I have to take part in it because I am very good in drawing and painting and I really enjoyed that opportunity.

✓ So my teachers told me that I had to take part in it because I was very good at drawing and painting, and I really enjoyed that opportunity.

Sequence of tenses: 'told' (past) requires 'had to' not 'have to.' Also use 'was' to match past time. Preposition: use 'good at' not 'good in.' Add comma before conjunction for clarity.

× Uh, yes, obviously people try many different things as they can because it boosts their skills and, uh, encourage, uh, them to do well in future and uh, it motivates them.

✓ Yes, obviously people should try as many different things as they can because it boosts their skills, encourages them to do well in the future, and motivates them.

Use modal 'should' to express recommendation. Use 'as many...as they can' for correct quantifier structure. Parallel verb forms require third-person singular 'encourages' to match subject 'it' or better use plural subject 'this' structure; here verbs refer back to 'it' or the general idea, so use 'encourages' and 'motivates.' Add 'the' before 'future.' Remove filler words for fluency.

× Uh, uh, in motivates them.

✓ It motivates them.

This fragment is redundant and ungrammatical. Replace with the clear subject 'It' and verb 'motivates' to form a complete sentence.