机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve accuracy, coherence and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and pronunciation errors, use linking words, and provide one or two specific supporting details (what event, what you did in training, a short result). Keep to maximum 3–4 sentences. Avoid redundancy and fix word choice (e.g., 'nervous', 'stage').

範例: Yes. When I was fourteen I represented my school at a national cultural festival. I prepared for several weeks with intensive rehearsals, focusing on stage presence and speech practice, and I performed a short monologue at the event. As a result, I became much more confident in public speaking and performing in front of large audiences.

建議: Clarify and correct grammar, use linking words, and give a clear, specific example. Start with a direct opinion sentence, follow with reasons and a concrete example. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases (e.g., 'has then broadened', 'shops', 'hidden at friends'). Use relevant vocabulary like 'discover talents' and 'adaptability'. Keep it concise (2–3 sentences).

範例: Yes, I believe people should try many different activities because it broadens their horizons and helps them develop new skills. For example, experimenting with painting, sports or volunteering helped a friend discover a talent for design and made them more adaptable when starting university.

× When I was fourteen I had the opportunity to represent my school at a national event.

✓ When I was fourteen, I had the opportunity to represent my school at a national event.

The original sentence is essentially correct in tense but missing a comma after the introductory time phrase 'When I was fourteen'. This is a punctuation issue affecting clarity; inserting the comma follows standard English conventions for introductory adverbial clauses.

× I had intensive training beforehand to prepare my space and performances.

✓ I had intensive training beforehand to prepare my piece and performances.

The word 'space' is incorrect in context; likely intended 'piece' (a performance piece). 'Prepare' followed by noun is correct. Change clarifies meaning. If 'space' was intended, use 'my space' with clearer context, but 'piece' fits performing arts.

× and although I felt nonvased the experience helped me become more confident in public speaking and also giving performance in public.

✓ Although I felt nervous, the experience helped me become more confident in public speaking and giving performances in public.

Multiple problems: sentence began with a lowercase 'and' and lacked proper punctuation. 'nonvased' is not a word; intended 'nervous'. Parallel structure needed: 'confident in public speaking and giving performances' keeps verb forms consistent. Also comma after the subordinate clause improves readability.

× Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because it has then broadened their horizons and developed new skills.

✓ Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because it then broadens their horizons and develops new skills.

Tense and modality mismatch: 'should' expresses recommendation, so the following clause should use present tense to state general truth. 'has then broadened' is present perfect and inconsistent. Change to 'then broadens' and 'develops' maintains present simple for general statements.

× For instance, trying different hobbies or shops can reveal hidden at friends and make it easier to adapt to new situations.

✓ For instance, trying different hobbies or sports can reveal hidden talents and make it easier to adapt to new situations.

Several word-choice and preposition errors: 'shops' is incorrect; likely 'sports' or 'skills'—'sports' fits the parallel with 'hobbies'. 'reveal hidden at friends' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'reveal hidden talents'. Fixing these restores correct preposition use and noun choice.