机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and grammatical errors (use past tense for childhood). Give a brief example or result to make it specific.

範例: Yes. I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child, such as piano, swimming and soccer. For example, playing soccer taught me how to communicate with teammates and work as part of a group, which improved my confidence. Also, learning to swim was important for my safety and fitness.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence with correct grammar and expand with one or two specific reasons connected by linking words. Avoid short fragmented sentences and be specific about what abilities or benefits you mean.

範例: Yes, definitely. People should try many different things because it helps them build confidence and develop new skills. For instance, trying public speaking can improve communication skills, while learning a musical instrument can enhance discipline and concentration.

× Yes, I have an opportunity to take part in new activities such as piano, swimming and soccer.

✓ Yes, I had opportunities to take part in new activities such as piano, swimming and soccer.

The question asks about childhood experiences (past), so the student should use past tense. 'Have an opportunity' is present; change to 'had opportunities' to match time frame and pluralize 'opportunity' because multiple activities occurred. Suggestion: use past simple for past experiences and match number (singular/plural) to context.

× Regarding soccer, I learned a lot for the communication and teamwork and for, uh, swimming.

✓ Regarding soccer, I learned a lot about communication and teamwork, and from swimming I learned important skills.

The original sentence has awkward preposition use and unclear structure. 'Learned a lot for the communication' is incorrect; use 'learned a lot about communication and teamwork.' Also separate the two activities with a clear conjunction and a parallel structure. Suggestion: use 'learned about' for subjects learned and keep parallel phrases for each activity.

× It's uh, uh, crucial for my.

✓ Swimming was crucial for me.

The fragment 'It's crucial for my' is incomplete and uses wrong pronoun form and tense. 'My' is a possessive adjective needing a noun; use the pronoun 'me' as object. Since referring to past childhood, use past tense 'was.' Suggestion: complete the idea and choose correct pronoun and tense.

× Yes, definitely I should do so because it's essential for the people to.

✓ Yes, definitely people should do so because it's essential for them to

The original word order is awkward and contains an unfinished clause and incorrect article use 'the people.' Use 'people should' or 'we should' instead of 'I should' when answering generally. Also finish the clause with an object: 'essential for them to' followed by the verb phrase in the next sentence or complete it in one sentence. Suggestion: keep natural word order (Subject + modal + verb) and avoid unnecessary articles.

× Establish their. Confidence and develop their ability.

✓ establish their confidence and develop their abilities.

These fragments are separated incorrectly. They should be combined into one sentence or clause. Also 'ability' is better as plural 'abilities' when referring generally to multiple skills, and the verbs should be lowercased when continuing the previous sentence. Suggestion: attach them to the previous clause or join: '...essential for them to establish their confidence and develop their abilities.'