机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise, and more specific. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two brief supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words.

範例: Yes. I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my parents encouraged me to join clubs and classes. For example, I tried painting at age seven and later joined a school drama club, which helped me become more confident and curious.

建議: Give a direct opinion and support it with a clear reason and an example. Remove hesitations like "uh" and vague phrases such as "if they can do it." Use linking words (because, for example, therefore) to make the answer coherent.

範例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it broadens their skills and helps them discover interests. For example, trying a new sport or hobby can lead to lifelong passions or useful abilities in work and personal life.

× As a child, I have so many opportunities because I'm a person who is who wants to try many things, who is who attract my attention.

✓ As a child, I had many opportunities because I am a person who wants to try many things and is easily attracted to new activities.

Issues: 5 (Past tense issue) and 12 (Incorrect use of pronouns) and 26 (Sentence structure errors). The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense 'had' is required instead of present 'have'. The phrase 'who is who wants' is redundant and ungrammatical; use a single relative clause 'who wants'. 'Who is who attract my attention' incorrectly uses pronouns and verb form; replace with 'is easily attracted to new activities' to convey the intended meaning. Suggestion: Maintain consistent tense for time reference (use past for childhood), avoid duplicate relative pronouns, and use an appropriate passive/adjectival structure for 'attracted'.

× Yes, uh, people may try as many different things as they can if they are willing to do it or if they can do it.

✓ Yes, people should try as many different things as they can if they are willing and able to do so.

Issues: 4 (Modal verb usage) and 26 (Sentence structure errors). 'May' expresses permission or possibility, but the question asks if people should try many things, so 'should' is a better modal to express recommendation. The phrases 'willing to do it or if they can do it' are repetitive and use 'do it' awkwardly; replace with 'willing and able to do so' for clarity and conciseness. Suggestion: Choose the modal that matches the desired meaning (recommendation -> should) and simplify parallel conditions.