机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two or three specific examples with brief details (when, how often, or what you learned). Use linking words (for example, moreover) to connect ideas and correct minor errors (e.g., "cricket" not "crickets").

範例: Yes. My parents encouraged me to try many activities, so I experimented with tennis, cricket and swimming. For example, I took tennis lessons every weekend for two years and joined a school swim team, which improved my fitness and confidence.

建議: Give a clear opinion in one sentence, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Avoid repetition ("always stay with these skills" repeated) and improve cohesion using linking words like "because", "for example" or "therefore". Keep answer under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I think people should try different activities because it helps them discover their strengths and interests. For example, trying a musical instrument might reveal a talent for rhythm, while volunteering could develop communication skills, which are useful later in life.

× Yes I had a myriad of opportunities as my parents always encouraged me to try new activities and figure out what I liked and if I could have practiced practiced practice more in any activity I liked and I have actually tried many of them such as tennis, football, crickets, swimming, cycling.

✓ Yes, I had a myriad of opportunities because my parents always encouraged me to try new activities and figure out what I liked; if I could have practiced more in any activity, I would have done so. I actually tried many of them, such as tennis, football, cricket, swimming, and cycling.

This sentence has multiple issues: inconsistent past tense forms and repetition. Use past simple consistently for past events (had, encouraged, liked, tried). The conditional about practicing should use a past conditional structure ('if I could have practiced more ... I would have') to reflect a hypothetical past. Remove repeated word 'practiced' and correct plural 'crickets' to singular 'cricket'. Add commas and conjunctions to improve clarity; suggestions: keep verbs in past simple for completed actions and use proper conditional for hypothetical regrets.

× Yes, I believe everyone should get the opportunity to try different activities and discover their hobbies and learn what they are good at.

✓ Yes, I believe everyone should have the opportunity to try different activities, discover their hobbies, and learn what they are good at.

The sentence uses multiple 'and' conjunctions which makes it wordy and slightly awkward. Also 'get the opportunity' is better as 'have the opportunity'. Use parallel verb forms ('try', 'discover', 'learn') and commas to separate items in a list for clarity.

× Some people might be excited by some activities, others might have different skills.

✓ Some people might be excited by certain activities, while others may have different skills.

Using 'some' twice is repetitive and weak. Replace the second 'some' with 'certain' and join clauses with 'while' to show contrast. Also use consistent modal verbs ('might' and 'may') but keeping the same modal is acceptable; choose one for style consistency.

× Everyone should get to explore and always stay with these skills always stay with them in their life.

✓ Everyone should have the chance to explore and retain these skills throughout their life.

The original repeats phrases ('always stay with these skills always stay with them') and misuses pronouns and verb phrases. 'Get to explore' is informal; 'have the chance to explore' is clearer. 'Stay with' is awkward for keeping skills; use 'retain' or 'keep'. 'Throughout their life' is a clearer time expression. Remove repetition and ensure pronoun 'their' agrees with the indefinite subject 'Everyone'.