机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve fluency and grammar by giving one clear topic sentence, then 1–2 supporting details with correct tense and reduced repetition. Use linking words (for example, “for instance” or “also”) and specific details (names of sports or activities, what you learned). Keep to under five sentences.

範例: Yes. I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For instance, I joined a book club where I learned to discuss stories with others, and I played football and swimming, which helped me build teamwork and stay mindful during competitions.

建議: Make a clear opinion sentence, then add two concise, specific reasons using linking words like “because” and “also.” Correct grammar (e.g., “become braver,” “make new friends”) and avoid filler words. Keep answers natural and under five sentences.

範例: Yes, people should try many different things because it helps them gain new knowledge and become braver when facing challenges. Also, trying activities allows you to meet new people and make friends who share your interests.

× When I was a child.

✓ When I was a child, I did.

The sentence fragment lacks a main verb and object to complete the idea. It should be combined with the following clause or completed with a verb and object. Suggestion: attach this fragment to the previous or next sentence or add a verb to make it complete (e.g., 'When I was a child, I enjoyed many activities.').

× I had several activities such as I joining a book club and I do some sports which is very which is which are very important to me and I can learn about mindfulness and compete competitive things in that.

✓ I had several activities, such as joining a book club and doing some sports, which were very important to me. I learned about mindfulness and took part in competitive events.

Multiple errors: incorrect verb forms ('I joining' should be the gerund 'joining' without 'I'; 'I do' should be 'doing'); agreement between plural 'sports' and verb clause should use 'were'; awkward repetition and wrong adjective use ('compete competitive things') and wrong tense for a past time frame (use past tense 'learned' and 'took part'). Suggestions: use gerunds after 'such as', match verb tense to the time reference (past), avoid redundant words and use correct collocations ('competitive events').

× Yes they should since it can encourage them to get more knowledge and being have a ever many brave to try all of the opportunities.

✓ Yes, they should, since it can encourage them to gain more knowledge and to be braver in trying different opportunities.

Errors include incorrect verb forms and word choices after modal implication: 'get more knowledge' is better as 'gain more knowledge'; 'being have a ever many brave' is ungrammatical—use the adjective 'braver' with 'to be' (infinitive) or 'to be braver'. Also use 'different opportunities' rather than redundant 'all of the opportunities'. Suggestion: use concise, correct collocations and comparative adjective 'braver' with 'to be'.

× I think it can be also have a make a new friends from the from the things.

✓ I think it can also help them make new friends through those activities.

Problems: unnecessary words and incorrect article usage ('a make a new friends' is ungrammatical; 'a' conflicts with plural 'friends'); repetition 'from the from the things'. Use 'help them make new friends' and preposition 'through' or 'from' with 'activities' for clarity. Suggestion: simplify the structure to 'help them make new friends through those activities.'