机会— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No and brief reason), avoid repetition, correct grammar, and add one specific example with a linking word. Keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences. For instance, say where the activities were held, what type they were, and one example of what you gained.

範例: Yes, I did. My primary school organised many extracurricular events and welcome activities for students. For example, they ran art clubs and sports days, which helped me become more confident and discover a love of painting.

建議: Your answer is relevant and gives a reason, but improve coherence and natural phrasing, add a linking word, and give a concrete example or brief result. Use more natural collocations (e.g., "learn about challenges" rather than "raise awareness about difficulties") and avoid overly formal vocabulary. Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

範例: Yes, I think people should try many different things because new experiences teach you about challenges. For example, trying team sports taught me how to cooperate under pressure, so now I make better decisions in group situations.

× For sure. My primary school in my primary school in the past used to open many welcome or many events that men that aims to encourage

✓ For sure. My primary school used to organize many welcome events and other activities in the past that aimed to encourage students.

The original sentence has repetition ('my primary school in my primary school'), missing or incorrect word choices ('open' for 'organize', 'welcome or many events', 'men that aims'), and a disagreement between plural 'events' and singular verb 'aims'. This is a sentence structure and subject-verb agreement problem. Suggested improvements: remove repeated phrase, replace 'open' with 'organize' or 'hold', use 'welcome events and other activities' for clarity, and match verb number by using 'aimed' (past tense) or 'that aimed' to agree with 'events'. Ensure the clause order is clear: main clause + relative clause describing the events.

× I think yes because different experiences can help people to raise awareness about difficulties, therefore they can find out suitable decisions for these problems.

✓ I think so because different experiences can help people become aware of difficulties, so they can find suitable solutions to these problems.

Problems here include awkward phrasing ('I think yes' -> 'I think so'), unnecessary infinitive 'to raise awareness about' which is more naturally expressed as 'become aware of', and incorrect collocation 'find out suitable decisions' and preposition 'decisions for' which should be 'find suitable solutions to'. Also use of 'therefore' is grammatically acceptable but 'so' is more natural in speech. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('become aware of', 'find suitable solutions to'), and choose 'so' or 'therefore' consistently for cohesion.