疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a direct answer first, then explain the main reason. Your response is relevant and uses strong vocabulary, but it is one very long sentence with several clauses and some redundancy. Say “a bachelor’s degree in architecture” rather than “my Bachelor’s for Architecture,” and use “time-consuming” and “sleep-deprived” as compound adjectives. Avoid repeating “tired” at the beginning and end.

範例: Yes, I often feel tired. I’m currently studying for a bachelor’s degree in architecture, which is quite intense and time-consuming. The heavy workload often means that I don’t get enough sleep, so I feel exhausted during the day.

建議: The answer is relevant and includes a clear situation, but the sentence is too long and the explanation about caffeine is unclear. Caffeine usually makes people feel more alert temporarily; it is the lack of sleep that affects you the next day. Replace “a good amount of caffeine” with “a lot of caffeine,” and replace “lessen it” with “reduce its effects” or explain what “it” refers to. Use shorter sentences and a clearer linking structure.

範例: I feel most tired after staying up all night to work on a project or study. Although I usually drink a lot of coffee to stay awake, the lack of sleep catches up with me the next day. As a result, I feel exhausted and find it difficult to concentrate.

建議: You answer the question directly and provide several specific strategies, such as taking a nap, having breaks, and meditating. The response is natural overall, but “take as many short breaks to calm myself” would be more natural as “take a few short breaks to relax,” and “rest for a little” should be “rest for a while.” You could also reduce repetition of “try” and “sometimes.”

範例: If I have enough time, I usually take a quick power nap. Otherwise, I take a few short breaks to relax and clear my mind. I sometimes meditate as well, but simply sitting quietly for a while is usually enough to help me recover.

建議: The response is well organized, with a clear contrast between the past and the present. However, “get the amount of sleep in that I need” is unnatural; say “get enough sleep” or “get the amount of sleep I need.” You could make the final reason more specific by explaining that going out late affects your concentration or energy the next day.

範例: Not usually. A few years ago, I could still find the energy to go out for a drink or coffee with my friends. These days, however, I prefer to stay home and get enough sleep because I need to be alert and productive the following day.

× Absolutely, I am currently doing my Bachelor's for Architecture, which is a pretty intense and time consuming course, mainly because of the high workload which leads me to be immensely sleep deprived, so I do often feel tired throughout the day.

✓ Absolutely, I am currently doing my bachelor's degree in Architecture, which is a pretty intense and time-consuming course, mainly because of the high workload, which leaves me immensely sleep-deprived, so I often feel tired throughout the day.

The preposition for is incorrect after bachelor's degree when referring to a field of study. Use in: a bachelor's degree in Architecture. Also, time-consuming and sleep-deprived are compound adjectives and should be hyphenated. The phrase leads me to be is grammatically possible, but leaves me is more natural in this context. The adverb do is unnecessary because the sentence already uses the present tense correctly.

× Not really. A few years ago I would still find the energy to go out with my friends or go for a drink or a coffee, but these days I just prefer to get the amount of sleep in that I need to function normally the next day.

✓ Not really. A few years ago I would still find the energy to go out with my friends or go for a drink or a coffee, but these days I just prefer to get the amount of sleep that I need to function normally the next day.

The preposition in is unnecessary before the relative clause. Use the amount of sleep that I need, or more naturally, get enough sleep to function normally the next day. Be careful not to add a preposition before that when the relative pronoun directly introduces the clause.