疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question directly and avoid unclear or unfinished information. The phrases “multiple deficiencies in my body,” “run through the test,” and “indicated me to do the samples” are unnatural; use “I have an iron deficiency,” “I had some tests,” and “the doctor advised me to take supplements.” The final sentence is confusing because the pronouns and meaning are unclear. Give one or two specific reasons and link them with “because” or “also.”

範例: Yes, I often feel tired, mainly because I have an iron deficiency. I had some blood tests, and my doctor advised me to take supplements. I also feel tired when I do not get enough sleep.

建議: Use the correct and natural collocations “a lot of effort,” “mental effort,” and “physical strain,” rather than repeating “efforts.” “After work” sounds more natural than “after my job.” Complete the final idea instead of ending with “it takes a lot of.” Organize the answer with a clear time reference and one or two supporting reasons.

範例: I usually feel tired after work, especially when I have been using my laptop for several hours. Although the job is mostly mental, sitting in the same position can also cause physical strain. I also feel tired after studying for a long time because it requires constant concentration.

建議: The main idea is clear, but some expressions are unnatural. Say “Pakistanis have a tradition of drinking tea” instead of “we as Pakistanis have this tradition,” and use “it helps us stay alert” instead of “make them wake up.” Avoid repeating the same idea in the final sentence. Add a specific detail, such as taking a short break or drinking tea with a snack.

範例: I usually make a cup of tea and take a short break when I feel tired. In Pakistan, drinking tea is a common way to relax and regain energy. If I am extremely tired, I also take a short nap before returning to my work.

建議: Answer directly, but avoid repeating “commitment” and correct the grammar: “a commitment is a commitment” or, more naturally, “I try to keep my plans.” Use “I feel less tired” rather than the general “you would feel less tired.” The phrase “those are your real people” is unclear; say “I feel comfortable with them” or “they lift my mood.” Explain that you may choose a relaxed activity when your energy is low.

範例: Yes, I sometimes still go out with my friends, especially if we have already made plans. Spending time with them usually lifts my mood, so I feel less tired afterward. However, if I am exhausted, I suggest having a quiet meal or meeting at someone’s home instead of going somewhere crowded.

× But remember, they're often refused to have me buy the supplements because she's a firm believer that you should.

✓ But my doctors often refuse to let me buy the supplements because they are firm believers that I should take them.

The pronouns they and she do not agree with the intended subject, my doctors. Since doctors is plural, use they and them. The pronoun I is also needed because the speaker is describing what they should do.

× But remember, they're often refused to have me buy the supplements because she's a firm believer that you should.

✓ But my doctors often refuse to let me buy the supplements because they are firm believers that I should take them.

The phrase they're often refused incorrectly uses the passive voice. The doctors are the people performing the action, so the sentence needs the active structure my doctors refuse.

× It requires mental efforts and also the physical efforts of typing on my laptop.

✓ It requires mental effort and also physical effort from typing on my laptop.

Effort is generally an uncountable noun when referring to energy or exertion in a general sense. Therefore, use effort rather than efforts in this sentence.

× And I often feel tired after studying because studying requires you to be mentally available and concentrated at the same time, so it takes a lot of.

✓ I often feel tired after studying because studying requires me to be mentally alert and concentrated at the same time, so it takes a lot of energy.

The phrase it takes a lot of is incomplete because a noun is required after of. Adding energy completes the sentence and gives the verb phrase a grammatical object.

× I usually have a cup of tea whenever I feel tired because I think we as Pakistanis have this tradition of having tea to make them wake up and run through the entire day without having low energy.

✓ I usually have a cup of tea whenever I feel tired because I think we as Pakistanis have this tradition of having tea to make us wake up and get through the entire day without having low energy.

The pronoun them refers to people other than the speaker, but the speaker means we, including themself and other Pakistanis. Therefore, use us after make.

× Yes, whenever I feel tired, I still go out with my friends because commitments is because commitment is a commitment and you have to fulfill the commitment.

✓ Yes, whenever I feel tired, I still go out with my friends because a commitment is a commitment, and I have to fulfill it.

The subject commitment is singular, so it must be followed by is, not are. The corrected sentence also removes the unnecessary plural form commitments and uses the pronoun it to avoid repeating the noun.

× Yes, whenever I feel tired, I still go out with my friends because commitments is because commitment is a commitment and you have to fulfill the commitment.

✓ Yes, whenever I feel tired, I still go out with my friends because a commitment is a commitment, and I have to fulfill it.

The pronoun I is appropriate because the student is describing their own obligation. The original sentence changes from I to you, which creates an inconsistent point of view. The pronoun it correctly refers back to a commitment.

× And ultimately whenever you go out with your friends, you would feel less tired because those are your real people and they would bring out the positive energy.

✓ Ultimately, whenever you go out with your friends, you feel less tired because they are close to you and they bring positive energy.

The sentence describes a general or repeated situation, so the simple present tense is more appropriate than would feel and would bring. Use you feel and they bring for general habits or results.