疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 「every day」「every single day」の繰り返しを避け、「I have three or four classes a day」のように正確に言いましょう。また、“which makes feel exhausted”は“I feel exhausted”または“which makes me feel exhausted”に修正できます。最後の文が未完なので、音楽を聴くとどう感じるのかを明確に述べてください。最初に直接答え、その後に理由と対策を加えると、より自然で効果的です。

範例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially because I have three or four classes at school every day. By the end of the day, I usually feel exhausted. When that happens, I listen to music because it helps me relax and regain my energy.

建議: 質問は「いつ疲れるか」なので、最初に時間や状況を明確に答えましょう。“the five period class”は“the fifth period”が自然です。また、“I can't think anything”は“I can't think clearly”に、“space out”は口語的なので、必要に応じて“lose concentration”にできます。2文を“because”などでつなぐと、理由の関係がより明確になります。

範例: I usually feel tired during the fifth period at school. By then, I have already attended several classes, so it becomes difficult to concentrate. I sometimes lose focus and just stare into space.

建議: “listen to music or watching”は、並列をそろえて“listen to music or watch”にしましょう。“high paced”は音楽には通常“upbeat”を使います。好きな音楽とコメディについて話す部分は、“Also”などで整理し、言い直しや“my my”“and or”を避けてください。“at YouTube”ではなく“on YouTube”が正しい表現です。

範例: When I feel tired, I usually listen to music or watch Japanese comedy shows. I especially enjoy upbeat pop music because it lifts my mood. I also watch videos of my favorite comedian, Jarijuv, on YouTube.

建議: “Yes sometimes I often”は矛盾するため、“Sometimes, I do”または“Usually, I do”のどちらかにしましょう。“go to a restaurant”の後に、会話や気分転換がどのように役立つかを簡潔に説明してください。“it helps me about”や最後の未完の部分は意味が不明確なので、“It helps me relax and feel better”のように完成させましょう。

範例: Yes, sometimes I do. I go to a restaurant with my friends and chat with them over a meal. It gives me a nice break from school and helps me relax. Afterward, I usually feel much better.

× I have a lot of class three or four hand which makes feel exhausted.

✓ I have a lot of classes, three or four a day, which makes me feel exhausted.

Class should be plural because the student has more than one class. The phrase three or four a day clearly refers to multiple classes.

× I have a lot of class three or four hand which makes feel exhausted.

✓ I have a lot of classes, three or four a day, which make me feel exhausted.

The relative pronoun which refers to classes, which is plural, so the verb should be make, not makes. Also, the verb make needs the object pronoun me: make me feel.

× And when I feel tired I always listen to music and it helps me feel

✓ When I feel tired, I always listen to music, and it helps me feel better.

The original sentence is incomplete because feel needs a complement. Adding better completes the meaning and makes the sentence grammatically complete.

× I feel tired during the class, especially the five period class.

✓ I feel tired during class, especially during the fifth-period class.

When referring to class as a general activity, English usually uses class without the article the. The phrase during should also be repeated before the specific class for clearer structure.

× I can't think anything and just space out.

✓ I can't think of anything and just space out.

The verb phrase think of requires the preposition of before anything. Therefore, think anything is incorrect in this context.

× When I feel tired either I can't think anything and just space out.

✓ When I feel tired, I can't think of anything, so I just space out.

Either normally needs a matching or structure. Here, so clearly shows the result of feeling tired and connects the two ideas naturally.

× When I feel tired, I often listen to music or watching Japanese comedy shows.

✓ When I feel tired, I often listen to music or watch Japanese comedy shows.

The verbs after or should be parallel. Because listen is in the base form, watch must also be in the base form, not watching.

× My favorite music is pop and high paced.

✓ My favorite music is pop and fast-paced.

Fast-paced is the appropriate adjective for music with a quick rhythm. It should be written with a hyphen when it comes before a noun or describes a type of music.

× My favorite comedian is Jarijuv and I always watch their lives at YouTube.

✓ My favorite comedian is Jarijuv, and I always watch the comedian's live shows on YouTube.

The noun comedian is singular, and the possessive pronoun their does not clearly match the intended reference. Using the comedian's avoids ambiguity. Live shows is also the correct noun phrase for recorded or broadcast performances.

× I always watch their lives at YouTube.

✓ I always watch the comedian's live shows on YouTube.

The correct preposition for a platform such as YouTube is on, not at. We watch videos or shows on YouTube.

× It became every time it becomes a great break.

✓ It becomes a great break every time.

The student is describing a regular present result, so the present-tense verb becomes is appropriate. The past-tense form became does not match this repeated situation.

× It helps me about and it became every time it becomes a great break and it helps me much better to.

✓ It gives me a great break and helps me feel much better.

The original sentence contains incomplete and repeated clauses, including helps me about and helps me much better to. The corrected version uses two complete, logically connected verb phrases.