疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 첫 문장에서 ‘Yes, I do’처럼 질문에 직접 답한 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 ‘because of my study’보다는 ‘because of my studies’ 또는 ‘because I study for the IELTS’가 자연스럽고, ‘ILTS’는 ‘IELTS’로 수정해야 합니다. ‘I don’t feel tired than before’는 문법적으로 부자연스러우므로 ‘I don’t feel as tired as I used to’라고 표현하세요. 운동이 피로를 줄이는 이유를 한 가지 더 구체적으로 설명하면 답변이 더 효과적입니다.

範例: Yes, I often feel tired because I spend a lot of time studying for the IELTS. However, I don’t feel as tired as I used to because I work out regularly. Exercise helps me reduce stress and maintain my energy.

建議: ‘when I was drama’는 의미가 불분명하므로 ‘when I watch dramas for a long time’처럼 상황을 정확히 설명해야 합니다. ‘I am the big fan’은 ‘I am a big fan’으로 고치고, ‘concentrate on drama’는 ‘become absorbed in a drama’가 더 자연스럽습니다. 마지막 문장은 앞의 내용과 모순되므로, 드라마를 오래 보면 피곤하지만 중간에 쉬면 피로를 줄일 수 있다는 식으로 논리를 정리하세요. 불필요한 ‘try to feel’의 반복도 제거해야 합니다.

範例: I usually feel tired when I watch dramas for several hours without taking a break. I’m a big fan of dramas, so I often become completely absorbed in the story. As a result, my eyes feel strained and I get sleepy. To avoid this, I take short breaks while watching.

建議: 운동과 간식을 제시하고 ‘In addition’을 사용한 점은 좋습니다. 다만 피곤할 때 운동한다는 내용은 ‘I do some light exercise’처럼 가벼운 운동임을 밝혀야 더 자연스럽습니다. ‘helps my muscle grow’는 ‘helps build my muscles’로, ‘I don’t feel tired than before’는 ‘I feel less tired afterward’로 수정하세요. 초콜릿과 사탕은 잠시 에너지를 줄 뿐이라는 결과를 덧붙이면 내용이 더 구체적이고 논리적입니다.

範例: When I feel tired, I usually do some light exercise, such as stretching or taking a short walk. It helps me relax and feel more energetic afterward. If I need a quick boost, I eat a small piece of chocolate. However, I try not to have too much sugar because the effect doesn’t last long.

建議: ‘I definitely don’t go out’처럼 질문에 명확히 답한 점은 좋지만, ‘sleep is the most crucial one to people’은 부자연스러우므로 ‘getting enough sleep is essential’이라고 표현하세요. ‘I rather sleep sleep’은 ‘I would rather sleep than go out’으로 수정하고, ‘sleep’의 반복을 제거해야 합니다. 피곤할 때 외출하지 않는 이유와 다음 날의 결과를 구체적으로 연결하면 더 자연스럽고 효과적인 답변이 됩니다.

範例: No, I usually stay home when I feel tired instead of going out with my friends. I would rather get some rest because sleep is essential for my health. After a good night’s sleep, I feel refreshed and can enjoy spending time with my friends more.

× I frequently feel tired because of my study.

✓ I frequently feel tired because of my studies.

Studies refers to the subjects or academic work that a student does. Study can be used as an uncountable noun in some contexts, but studies is more natural when referring to a student’s academic activities.

× However, I don't feel tired than before because I regularly work out these days.

✓ However, I don't feel as tired as before because I regularly work out these days.

The structure as + adjective + as is used to compare two situations that are equal. The sentence cannot use tired than without a comparative form such as less tired.

× I sometimes feel tired when I was drama.

✓ I sometimes feel tired when I watch dramas.

The question asks about a usual situation, so the present tense is required. Use watch, not was. The verb watch must also be followed by an object, such as dramas.

× As I am the big fan of drama I concentrate on drama.

✓ As I am a big fan of dramas, I concentrate on them.

Use the indefinite article a before a singular countable noun in the expression a big fan. The definite article the is not appropriate because the speaker is not referring to one specific fan. The noun dramas is plural when referring to television or film series in general.

× As I am the big fan of drama I concentrate on drama.

✓ As I am a big fan of dramas, I concentrate on them.

Them replaces the plural noun dramas and prevents unnecessary repetition. A plural noun must be replaced by the plural object pronoun them, not a singular pronoun.

× However, as I try to feel try to be calm while watching drama, I don't feel tired.

✓ However, as I try to stay calm while watching dramas, I don't feel tired.

The phrase try to feel try to be calm contains a repeated and incorrectly organized verb phrase. Use the natural structure try to stay calm. The sentence also needs the plural noun dramas when discussing dramas in general.

× Exercising helps my muscle grow so I don't feel tired than before.

✓ Exercising helps my muscles grow, so I don't feel as tired as before.

Muscles should be plural because people generally have more than one muscle. The plural form is needed when referring to muscles in general.

× Exercising helps my muscle grow so I don't feel tired than before.

✓ Exercising helps my muscles grow, so I don't feel as tired as before.

Use as tired as to compare the speaker’s current level of tiredness with the previous level. Tired than is not a grammatically correct comparative structure.

× In fact, sleep is the most crucial one to people.

✓ In fact, sleep is the most crucial thing for people.

The preposition for is used when expressing benefit, importance, or suitability for a group. Therefore, say crucial for people, not crucial to people. Thing is also the appropriate noun after the adjective crucial in this sentence.

× I rather sleep sleep than go out with my friends

✓ I would rather sleep than go out with my friends.

The fixed structure for expressing preference is would rather + base verb + than + base verb. The word sleep was repeated, so one occurrence should be removed.