疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and complete your answer. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "phone" repeated) and finish the sentence. Keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I often feel tired because I usually sleep late while scrolling on my phone. For example, I sometimes stay up until midnight checking social media, and then I wake up early to help with chores, which leaves me feeling exhausted the next day.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and then add one or two specific situations with linking words. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., "I feel mentally exhausted" rather than "mentally exhausted and drained therefore it makes"). Avoid run-on sentences by using connectors like "and" or "because."

範例: I feel tired when I don't get enough sleep and also when I'm mentally exhausted. For instance, after a long day of studying or worrying about deadlines, I become stressed and can have mood swings throughout the day.

建議: Start with a direct answer and then give a specific strategy or example. Remove repetition ("Because Because") and keep sentences short. Use linking words like "so" or "therefore" to show cause and effect.

範例: When I'm tired, I usually take a short nap or lie down to rest so I can recharge. If I can't sleep, I relax by listening to music or doing light stretching, which helps reduce stress and improves my mood.

建議: Answer directly and give one clear reason with a brief example. Avoid awkward phrases like "spend funny time" and long explanations. Use linking words such as "however" or "so" to connect ideas.

範例: Sometimes I go out when I'm only a little tired, but usually I don't because I worry I might be moody and spoil the outing. For example, if I know I'm exhausted from work, I prefer to rest at home and suggest meeting another day so everyone can enjoy themselves.

× Yes, I do feel tired often because I don't have enough sleep at night.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because I don't get enough sleep at night.

Use of 'do feel' is unnecessary for simple present; 'get enough sleep' is the natural collocation. Also 'often' usually precedes the main verb 'feel' in this sentence. Suggestion: Use simple present: 'I often feel tired' and use 'get' with 'sleep'.

× I stay on my phone all night and scroll on my phone and then in the morning I wake up early and do what I have to do and have my sister doing stuff in the house.

✓ I stay on my phone all night and scroll through it, and then in the morning I wake up early, do what I have to do, and have my sister do chores around the house.

Problems: repetition 'on my phone' and incorrect progressive 'have my sister doing' instead of causative 'have my sister do'. Also 'stuff' is informal; 'chores around the house' is clearer. Use parallel structure with commas. Suggestion: Use 'scroll through it' and 'have someone do (something)' for causative meaning.

× So therefore it makes

✓ So, therefore, it makes me very tired.

Sentence was incomplete and lacked the object. Add 'me' and specify effect 'very tired' to complete the clause. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Complete the clause with the subject affected and the resulting state.

× I would feel tired when I don't have enough sleep and also when I feel mentally exhausted and drained therefore it makes me more stressed and make me have mood swings all the day.

✓ I feel tired when I don't have enough sleep and when I feel mentally exhausted and drained; this makes me more stressed and gives me mood swings throughout the day.

Avoid mixing conditional 'would' with a general present habitual statement; use simple present 'I feel'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'this makes me' and 'gives me' rather than 'make me'. 'All the day' is unnatural; use 'throughout the day'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to link clauses. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual situations and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.

× When I feel tired, I try to have some sleep and rest because Because when I don't sleep and have restless nights, I always feel stressed out and mentally drained, so to reduce it, I choose to rest.

✓ When I feel tired, I try to get some sleep and rest because when I don't sleep and have restless nights, I always feel stressed out and mentally drained; so to reduce that, I choose to rest.

Use 'get some sleep' instead of 'have some sleep' for natural English. Remove duplicate 'Because'. 'Reduce it' is vague; use 'reduce that' or 'reduce the stress'. Maintain simple present for habitual actions. Suggestion: Use natural collocations: 'get some sleep' and avoid repeated words.

× Sometimes I do but usually I don't because I would be stressed and moody so I avoid making things get worse and let them have fun together and spend funny time and enjoy their day without any bad things.

✓ Sometimes I do, but usually I don't because I am stressed and moody, so I avoid making things worse and let them have fun together and enjoy their day.

Avoid mixing conditional 'would' with habitual explanation; use 'I am'. 'Make things get worse' is awkward; use 'make things worse'. 'Spend funny time' is unnatural; 'enjoy their day' suffices. Use commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: Use simple present to describe usual states, choose natural verbs ('make things worse'), and concise phrases ('enjoy their day').