疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid filler words (like “actually”, “like”). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Use a linking phrase to show cause and effect.

範例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after a long day at school. For example, I have eight classes and then more studying at home, so by the evening I’m usually exhausted.

建議: Avoid repeating the same idea. Give a clear time reference and one specific reason, then add a brief example or consequence using a linking word (e.g., because, so).

範例: I usually feel most tired right after school because I’m under constant pressure to complete many assignments; for instance, I often have to finish math homework and revise for tests before dinner.

建議: Be succinct and avoid slang or repeated verbs. State your habit clearly, explain briefly why it helps, and add one specific effect using a linking word (e.g., so, which).

範例: I usually make myself a cup of matcha because it boosts my energy and concentration, so I can keep studying for another hour or two.

× Actually yes I do often feel tired, especially after school when the day is long and we have about like 8 classes.

✓ Actually, yes, I often do feel tired, especially after school when the day is long and we have about eight classes.

This sentence has adverb placement issues and minor style problems. The adverb 'often' is better placed before the main verb phrase 'do feel' for natural English: 'I often do feel' or simply 'I often feel'. Also add commas after introductory 'Actually' and 'yes' for clarity. Replace 'like 8' with 'about eight' because 'like' is informal and numbers under ten are usually written as words in formal contexts.

× I need to focus on all of them and then go back home to study all of these subjects again.

✓ I need to focus on all of them and then go back home to study all these subjects again.

The phrase 'study all of these subjects' is grammatical but a bit wordy; removing 'of' and 'these' reduces redundancy: 'study all these subjects' or 'study all of them again'. This is not a tense error but a present participle/word-choice/style improvement to make the sentence more natural.

× It's quite hard and it makes me feel so tired at the end of the day.

✓ It's quite hard, and it makes me feel very tired at the end of the day.

Using 'so' as an intensifier is conversational; 'very' is more neutral in this test-style response. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. This addresses adverb/adjective use and punctuation for clarity.

× After school especially, I always feel tired because of the overwhelming stress of the studies, subjects and homework that I have.

✓ Especially after school, I always feel tired because of the overwhelming stress from my studies, subjects, and homework.

Word order improved ('Especially after school' is a common placement). Use 'stress from my studies' instead of 'stress of the studies' for natural collocation. Add commas appropriately. This corrects present tense phrasing and preposition use.

× When I go home, I feel overwhelmed and the subjects that I have are too much to handle.

✓ When I go home, I feel overwhelmed because my subjects are too much to handle.

The original has a weak connection between clauses. Combining them with 'because' clarifies the cause-effect relationship. Change 'the subjects that I have are too much' to 'my subjects are too much' for conciseness and correct subject phrasing.

× When I feel tired I usually make myself a vibrant matcha which I love honestly, and it gives me power to continue on studying and getting up, getting motivated to continue the work I have.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually make myself a vibrant matcha, which I honestly love, and it gives me the energy to keep studying and stay motivated to continue my work.

Multiple issues: punctuation (commas), adverb placement ('honestly' better before 'love'), and word choice: 'gives me power' is unnatural; use 'gives me the energy'. Also prefer gerund forms with clear parallelism: 'to keep studying and stay motivated' rather than 'continue on studying and getting up, getting motivated'. This addresses verb + -ing usage and sentence structure for clarity.